crossing my fingers. it would be a great opportunity, a great challenge and responsibility.

let's see =)

I've obtained a new insight on engineering, now that i've been 5 months working as an engineer. Engineering is very vast area. My longing is to do some fundamental research, or just to explore it. True enough, working as an engineer (perhaps just applicable to my current job), I can apply the fundamental things, but just as a matter of understanding things. Engineers need to now those fundamental stuffs, but its not enough. As engineering consists of many layers, you also have to be familiar with various products which your engineering field uses. Most of the time we deal with 'black boxes' as we used vendor components. Ultimately, you need to be familiar with all components and vendor's architectures in order to explore everything. But it is just not possible to have unlimited moving space. Even vendors have their interest not to expose the weakness of their products when we try to probe further, and it makes it hard to probe everything.

Next, I believe to learn theory itself isn't enough. Ultimately, theories must be met with applications. Applications which uses many components has to deal with a lot of vendors, providing the components. Probably as an engineer you will learn many things but as 'black boxes', very specified to one vendor, perhaps learning their architecture and product limitations. You will keep yourself busy with few temporary 'products', which itself evolves over time. Simply put, there are too much work to do, too much study must be done in something that seems trivial. Oh and what you learn and the things you are familiar with, they are just one strand of product in history. Well I think this confinement is inevitable, we're doomed to be limited anyway. Perhaps what I can do is to learn as much as possible and find the general conclusion that perhaps can unify, or simplify things. Well I think that will be good if it can be done. I don't want to end up just being specialist in one product. If I'd be a specialist, perhaps I would be a specialist in theory, and know the answers to general questions like 'how to connect the theory with the practice?'. I'm more interested in the methodology than the application. Applications, I believe, they are based on arbitrary insights.. but how good it is if we can make categories to insights, make them systematic instead of arbitrary. So, instead of learning many product architectures, I'd rather learn some rules like 'there's always tradeoff between A and B, which leads to two different products. One emphasises on A and the other emphasises on B'. And of course, together with the reason, why those tradeoffs are inevitable. So far I think I have talent for generating such conclusions, and to see things in a 'general' view, and make general conclusions.

Oh there are too many things to learn, but its exciting! But in the long run, again, I think we need to be specialists.. But I hope I wouldn't be a blind specialist, but a specialist that is clear why I want to specialise in such direction, while keeping other things in a general view. I personally think having a general view is important. As an analogy it's like having a google earth, you are possible to zoom in to one area and be familiar with it, but as long as you maintain the global view of the earth, practically you can zoom in anywhere else and switch direction if you will (just need time). Only that, now you choose to specify in this particular area since you think it is potential to unlock many mysteries and new applications.

And i wish perhaps I can contribute in the future in the area of science and technology, well perhaps incorporates some philosophy about its methodology too.. But the future is still unclear.. anyway, I won't be stubborn to determine my own destiny. We shld still seek and listen to God in the end and His calling should be much more meaningful.. Hmm..

i believe in angels, but i prefer human beings, really =). someone to know up close and personal.

please don't waiver...

He who breaks a thing to find out what it is, has left the path of wisdom

Have I broken stuff to find out what it is? I suppose I have. I hope it's not too late to mend it.

to do what must be done. i wish i didn't wish so hard.

on Humility

It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.

Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation.

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.

This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.

on Love

Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.

He that is jealous is not in love.

What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.

Love, and do what you like.

He who created us without our help will not save us without our consent.

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to blead

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winterfar beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose