Have you ever stared into the rain
Thought the clouds would never disappear
Have you ever screamed out into the dark
Thinking no one else could hear

I was leaving footprints tainted by my past
On this winding road to you

I'd lost my faith in love
Tonight I believe again
My Heart was a broken place
Now I feel whole again
You bring me honesty
And that's worth believing in
and I believe
I believe again

Have you ever spun out of control
Like you never saw the road ahead
Have you ever just kept looking back
Ever closer to the edge

I was praying for the light I see in your eyes
I had all but given up

I'd lost my faith in love
Tonight I believe again
My Heart was a broken place
Now I feel whole again
You bring me honesty
And that's worth believing in
and I believe
I believe again

I believe the impossible is possible to overcome
I believe in miracles
Born from love in everyone

I'd lost my faith in love
Tonight I believe again
My Heart was a broken place
Now I feel whole again
You bring me honesty
And that's worth believing in
and I believe
I believe again

============================================================

have always liked Delta Goodrem's songs, esp since she's such a survivor (from a rare cancer diagnosed at age 17) and she writes them herself, plus she is a good singer. so far, 'take me home' and 'be strong' are my favorites. i believe again, however, is perhaps more appropriate for these times.

now i am convinced general health & medicine should be a compulsory part of secondary/primary school curricula >.<.  but i guess "in sickness and in health" is being played out in one of the more personal dramas.

hang ups. we've all got one or more of those. in any case, i'm glad that i've come to learn of my mucky/diabolical pride in the gentle hands of 'love'. there could have been harsher masters. the latter part of this year I feel closer to God somehow.

of course it helps that these days i am not continually sleepy and can afford to spend an hour or two just thinking and reflecting, or jumping up in the middle of the night just to find a verse in the bible =).  and also the strain of having to be 'good' and 'an example' has largely eased off with fewer 'teaching' and 'mentoring' responsibilities. 

and i'm sorry for being the smug pain-in-the-ass i know i am sometimes. it's not easy to love me =P. i guess that's why God gave me other mitigating attributes =P.

on a lighter note, this is the second paper i review within these two weeks that is just a poorly executed copy of a previously published paper, and both coming from I. that's just sad. =(. why do ppl do this? do they really think they'd get away with it, in this era of the internet and powerful search engines? it's just pathetic. who are they trying to fool?

Siguro nag ataka ka kung bakit ako magsusulat dito e wala naman diba me nakalimutan kasi tayong gawin ang ikuwento ang ating love story...


june na pasukan na ni na karla ito ang mag aral na hinahatid ko siya sa bahay di pa kame nito grabe as in 1 na akong ng umaga umuuwi isang gabi nga pag uwi ko me nagsabi sakin " oh san ka galing grabe kang manligaw ha talagang araw araw ha" sabi ko naman e walang magagawa mahal na mahal ko na yung babaeng to sobra pa sa sarili ko " ikako nga madaming nangyari samen sa buong june me tawanan iyakan at ang araw na di malilimutan..


june 19,2008 na kakabaliw na araw nung hinatid ko siya  nag punta kame sa me moa tapos kulitan pero iba ang pakiramdam ko ng araw na to kasi parang me magbabago .me nagbago nga nung naglalakad na kame pa moa e ganito sinabi niya sakin sa sobrang pangungulit ko " sasagutin na sana kita ngayon kaso sinira mo moment ko" grabe kala niya nr lang ako pero di niya alam halos matunaw na ang puso ko sa mga katagang sinabi niya tapos nung ang favorite shed na kami ( lang lagyan ko na ng name yung shed ha) sa may moa bigla niya me niyakap yon ang first time na siniksik niya ang kanyang muka sa aking leeg grabe talagang naiyak ako nun araw na yun di lang niya alam...:



june 20,2008 DI MALILIMUTAN NA ARAW...

sow eto na kame nagkita kame ng tangahali tapos naghiwalay ulit kasi papasok na siya sa uste ako naman pupunta na ako sa best ko na taga tondo.. sow gabi na 8 ang uwian niya sa pagkakatanda ko tapos badtrip siya ako nung papunta na akong uste taena inabot ako nang malas shit nung asa may sm san lazaro na me tangina walang jeep papuntang uste me dumating naghintay pa ng pasahero shit asar na asar ako kasi uwian na niya at deadbatt pa siya nun taena halos murahin ko na yung driver kasi ang bagal bagal niya. umaandar na yung jeep tangina lumiko palayo sa uste tangina bumaba ako grabe nagmamadali ako kasi 30mins na siya naghihintay doon sow nilakad ko mula ospital papuntang front gate pag dating ko doon sobrang badtrip ako nahihiya ako sa kanya kasi late ako umupo ako sa me shed ng uste tapos nagmukmuk tapos me sinulat siya sa braso ko sabi niya wag ko daw titingnan taena nung tiningnan ko nakasulat "ILOVE U WAG KANA BADTRIP" shit parang nagunaw ang mundo ko sa sinulat  niya di ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko shit eto na ang araw na yun at dito sa araw na to ang simulang maging kami na...




KARLA PATAWAD SA MGA PAGKUKULANG KO AT MGA SAKIT NA NAIDULOT KO SAYO MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA HIGIT PA SA SARILI KO SALAMAT AT DUMATING KASA BUHAY KO MAHALKITA....




SALAMAT SA PAG BASA

PEACE OUT
dexter Tiu

Currently feeling: happy

There were times in my life i wondered if i had ever truly loved . Accepting others' weaknesses is so much a part of the expected Christian conduct that it becomes common decency, although of course it is difficult and requires love. 

There were other indicators, unexpected and surprising things i found that told me i did love:

1. i wanted to be perfect ... not so that i may be liked in return (for i knew i already enjoyed his favor), but so that i might make him proud. the first time ever that i wanted to be perfect (or the best that i could be), and the first time ever that i wanted to be anything to make anyone proud.

2. i was at peace with being accepted despite my flaws.

3. i was comfortable and could enjoy the person's admiration. strange as it may sound, i was extremely uncomfortable with being admired for certain things. somehow, it was ok.

4. i could accept and enjoy being 'protected'. there was a time i vehemently hated that. nothing came off as patronizing.

5. i wanted to be strong so that i may be strong for him and that i need not be a burden.

(Taken from My Utmost for His Highest, 22 November)

What is a rough jacob compared to a dreamy edward.

I'm an edward fan myself, but something about jacob's character that makes me want to love him too.

I was pregnant when i read the twilight series, (heheh.. through ebook) and I really didn't like the part when Edward took off, and bella was left alone. But then again, Jacob was there to keep her company during the alive-yet-dead period of her life. I hated it, when bella was with Jacob, I kept hoping that by the next page Edward would turn up.

However, when I watched the movie, courtesy of the company (we were given a free pass to watch new moon! oh joy!), it made me appreciate Jacob's character.

I have to admit the gorgeous bod was one of the reasons (ahahha..he is so sexy!! i think everyone can agree!), but it was this part towards the end that made me love his character. It was when bella told him not to make her choose between him, and Edward. Because even if she (bella) loved him (Jacob), it has always been Edward. (ouch..).

But even If Jacob knows that; even if he knows even before bella said those words, he still pursued bella. He didn't give up on his feelings. Unlike Edward, he's not into sacrifcing-myself-for-the-sake-of-the-one-i-love.  He knows what he wants and he'll do everything to prove that he deserves bella, even though he doesn't stand a chance against Edward in Bella's heart.

And for that Hurrah to the stubborn wolf!

P.S. And yes, He is so gorgeous! everyone was screaming when he first took his shirt off! And everytime he appeared half-naked. wew!

Perhaps if I should do research in the future, I should go to nanotechnology. It's a field that blurs the boundary of physics, chemistry and biology. Perfect. Since I am passionate about unifying the sciences. But its a very ambitious field, and requires a lot of hard work. But I believe it can reveal more mysteries and hence its so exciting. And i believe its very fundamental since it deals with very tiny dimensions. Hmm...should I switch direction? I believe my knowledge till now are not irrelevant. Down there, every aspect of knowledge will be important. Control theory, system architecture, physics, chemistry, biology, statistics, mathematical physics, even power electronics, fluid dynamics, all knowledge will be useful and has to be considered to make something out..

Meanwhile, about philosophy, i think its quite mundane since its been overridden by theology. Economy doesn't motivate me since its about modelling afterall. Computer science is good when its about architecture and methodologies, but i'm not interested in just building fancy effects. Theology is always neccessary.

Perhaps I don't have to be ambitious, I should plan well. I realised people can be overly ambitious if they don't see their overall schedule. So to be realistic, a plan should be made. I need to plan my life carefully, either financially, or the progress of it. (just a few days ago someone explained me about financial planning and I get this insight)..

Perhaps.. perhaps.. (well im still not determined to pursue this field anyway, things might change).. 

I should build my schedule and not waste my time dreaming.

Dispensable

Grabe jud. Dili na jud ni tama.

So gibulagan nako siya, and so after 5 days, in a relationship ka na agad.

Wow! How I wish mali ko this time.

When we were together halos dili nimu ichange imu status into "in a relationship".

Always naka "complicated".

I guess, It was the right move for me to break up with you.

It was a sane move.

But man! This really hurt.

I broke up with you because I thought you needed space; because I thought you’d be able to think clearly without me and our baby on your way.

And I was right. We were on your way.

You must have been really glad.

Gosh! Pde paligsan ug jeep one time lang.