i have this strong feeling i'm going to stay single for a few years from now. the free time better be used for good. i don't mind getting to know people, but to get attached again i probably have to think thrice.

Currently listening to: meredith brooks - i'm a lover

when is this infatuation going to stop?

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

something inspired me today...read this as taken from the Q&A with the female laureates quartet. FYI, Elizabeth Blackburn is a laureate in physiology while Ada Yonath is in chemistry:

Q: Although their presence has grown steadily for the past 3 decades, women hoping for a career in science still face many obstacles. What are the two or three most important steps that need to be taken right now to increase the number of women going into science and to improve conditions for those already in the field?

Elizabeth Blackburn: The big bottleneck in terms of women's advancement—and I'm speaking about biological sciences—is the transition from postdoctoral research to positions in academic or research-intensive institutions. And so the question is, ‘How do you give people tools to deal with this?’ One very practical thing I've seen at my institution—and I know it's not unique—is having the ability for postdoctoral fellows to attend laboratory leadership courses. They can be as little as 1 week. They don't waste a lot of time, and I've seen them be very effective.

Ada Yonath: Elizabeth talked about a very important stage in the development of a scientist, a man or woman. But I would like to refer to the steps before that. Although girls and young women are taking classes in the life sciences and chemistry, only a few of them make it to the next and the next and the next step. And this is maybe because there is not enough effort made in making them appreciate science and love science and develop their scientific curiosity. I think ... maybe it is because we, the established scientists, don't interact with the youth enough. When I talk to them, they say, ‘Yeah, I want to study this because I want to be afterwards a lab assistant or a research helper.’ Very few say, ‘Because I want to solve a problem that interests me.’

i think i'll have to abandon this blog and start a new secluded one. that one will be my hideout.

It's hard to see the fear inside
As I walk away from you
And distance overcomes the miles
As slowly I pull through
And I cannot reach the world today
Cuz I'm suffering from you
And the more I think, the more I cry
As I walk away from you

[Chorus:]
I'm two steps away
From loneliness
I'm awake
From the mess we made
I'm alive
And I'm feeling incomplete

I don't understand my life
Or the version that chose you
And the warring hearts and winter came
Now there's nothing left to do
And I cannot reach the world today
Cuz I'm suffering from two
And the more I think, the more we die
As I walk away from you

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
I'm two steps away
I'm two steps away
I'm two steps away
I'm two steps away

Two steps away
Two steps away
From loneliness
I'm awake
From the mess we made
I'm alive

Two steps away
Two steps away
Two steps away

Currently listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1BuplQ3Nfo

when i can't sing, i dance. when i can't dance, i sing.

by now i seriously think that by going to chenli, my spirituality is being revived back in a slow but sure manner...i guess the fellowship helps, and the small bible study group forces people to come out from their comfort shell. it works wonders. i know that in grii, this is quite impossible due to the size of the church...pemudanya aja udah segitu jumlahnya...

in conclusion, i will be going to chenli every week whenever possible for the time being. my conscience is clear with this. i hope my friends at grii can understand my situation and condition at the moment. i don't think too many people will miss me anyway, probably just my ktb. but i can still meet you all outside =) keep in touch!

send out both on tuesday. then i'll be free from this procrastination nightmare.

John 3:19-20

¹⁹This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. ²⁰Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, "I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that." All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints.

Am I making the Holy Spirit’s work difficult by being vague and unsure, or by trying to do His work for Him? I must do the human side of intercession— utilizing the circumstances in which I find myself and the people who surround me. I must keep my conscious life as a sacred place for the Holy Spirit. Then as I lift different ones to God through prayer, the Holy Spirit intercedes for them.

Your intercessions can never be mine, and my intercessions can never be yours, ". . . but the Spirit Himself makes intercession" in each of our lives Romans 8:26. And without that intercession, the lives of others would be left in poverty and in ruin.

taken from My Utmost for His Highest, 7 Nov.

it's kind of amazing how people cannot believe something exists if they don't see that something exactly. even if other facts surrounding it prove that it exists. people say, this is science.

can everything be known in the end? what if it takes forever for something to be known...or never at all?

but bottomline is...i agree that we have to do the research as much as possible...that is if we want to be good researchers.

i know i've been flirty lately, i should not continue this.

i don't want a 5th, 6th, or 7th boyfriend. let's stick to you only. so let's wait for a while until we're sure we're gonna get married one day.

i blog here in a very similar way how i twit =P anyway, I think hatha classes can cure my attention deficit disorder and bring more focus at work =)

now i can only blog from work. my laptop at home is currently very very screwed with the C disk drive getting corrupted after a windows vista update! now, this explains my grudge on windows vista...about my grudge on dell, i think it's the processor that keeps on shutting down on me in the middle of chkdsk utility. i got it repaired once, they replaced something in it i think, but until now it still keeps on shutting down on me. i think i'll have to change laptop again next yr...for now, i have to bring it down to the service center at tj pagar again...so troublesome.

Currently listening to: taeyang - wedding dress (so addictive!)

Some say it’s not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There’s something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please don’t take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you’re here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It’s going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

let's plan our next evil masterplan...

when she falls in love, she's so typical a sanguine. dramatic and bombastic, can't be convinced otherwise unless something bad happens in the middle, and unfortunately usually it's short lived cos she's totally fickle.

however, fortunately, to be in a relationship/marriage goes through a separate pathway after a very careful, clear and rational thinking process.

Oleh SOLOMON TONG
Kakak Kandung Stephen Tong
Dirigen dan Pendiri Surabaya Symphony Orchestra

Tong Tjong Eng (Stephen) dan aku merupakan pasangan serasi. Kami bermain bersama, masuk sekolah duduk di kelas yang sama, tidur seranjang. Sejak usia anak-anak, ia sudah suka meniru pendeta berkhotbah.

Stephen adalah seorang pesolek. Saat berusia lima tahun, setiap harinya berdiri di atas meja, berpakaian rapi, bergaya bagaikan seorang pendeta sedang berkhotbah. Saudara-saudaranya diajak duduk di lantai untuk mendengarkan ia khotbah. Saat itu kami baru pulang mendengarkan khotbah penginjilan dari Pendeta Tjoa Sin Tek.

Stephen suka bertingkah, bahkan berdasi sapu tangan sewaktu khotbah. Rambutnya pun diberi pomade, disisir rapi mengkilat model pesawat terbang. Cita-citanya menjadi seorang pendeta akhirnya terwujud.

Stephen tergolong anak yang sangat nakal. Saat masih kecil di SD Ming Kwang dia pernah bermain papan jungkat-jungkit. Anak yang duduk di ujung sebelah sana diam diam lari pergi sehingga Stephen terpental. Papan ujung sebelah sini langsung menghantam tulang kakinya, sehingga menderita luka menganga besar yang sulit disembuhkan. Setelah sembuh, masih meninggalkan bekas yang dalam.

Saat masih usia balita, pada suatu hari ia dan aku bermain duduk di atas meja berkaki silang seperti kaki meja karambol. Di atas meja terletak sepanci bubur mendidih. Dengan tidak sengaja, Stephen beranjak pergi sehingga papan mejanya jomplang miring. Aku terjatuh dan tersiram bubur mendidih mulai dari pundak mengalir turun ke telapak tangan. Aku menangis menjerit kesakitan, tetapi tetap duduk di tanah.

Ibu datang menolong dan langsung menyuruh Peter membawa aku ke dokter. Seluruh tangan yang tersiram bubur mendidih itu dioles vaselin, terutama pada bagian yang kulitnya terkelupas. Berselang beberapa bulan, baru berangsur sembuh. Kini telapak tangan kiriku berbekas keriput yang tidak bisa pulih. Bersyukurlah, bubur itu tidak menyiram aku dari kepala. Jikalau ya, maka wajahku pasti rusak dan mengerikan.

Stephen adalah seorang anak genius. Sejak kecil ia suka pakai sumpit dengan menggunakan tangan kiri, menulis dengan tangan kiri (kidal) juga. Pengasuhnya terpaksa harus mengikat tangan kirinya di belakang tubuh, supaya ia menggunakan tangan kanan. Hal itu malah membuat Stephen serba bisa: semua hal bisa dilakukan atau dikerjakan dengan tangan kanan dan juga tangan kiri.

Bahkan, ia dapat melukis dengan kedua tangannya sekaligus. Ia gemar membaca. Apa pun yang dibacanya, meski hanya sepintas saja, sudah terekam dan diingat untuk seterusnya. Apa yang diajar guru di kelas, ia tidak membutuhkan konsentrasi untuk mendengar. Langsung sudah mengerti semuannya, dapat mengembangkan dan melengkapi, bahkan melebihi gurunya.

Stephen tidak pernah membuat PR (pekerjaan rumah). Kalau ada ulangan baru meminjam PR kawan sekelas, sekadar membaca, sudah langsung mengerti dan hasil ulangannya bisa mendapat nilai 9. Ini akhirnya menimbulkan kecemburuan kawan–kawan sekelas. Mereka sepakat tidak meminjamkan PR–nya kepada Stephen, tetapi Stephen tetap lulus dengan ranking atas.

Pada tahun 1957 Stephen sudah mengajar sebagai guru les di rumah murid. Gaji pertamanya cukup untuk membeli dua buah sepeda pancal bermerek Phillips, karena bertahun–tahun kami tidak pernah membayangkan bisa mempunyai sepeda. Dulu, bila ada orang membeli nasi di warung nasi ibu yang kami kenal, selalu kami pinjam sepedanya untuk belajar. Dan hasrat untuk membeli sepeda itu akhirnya terkabul.

Gaji bulan kedua, Stephen belikan dua buah jam tangan merek Olma. Satu dipakai sendiri, yang satunya diberikan kepada aku. Kemudian gajinya bulan ketiga dan seterusnya ia kumpulkan, sampai bisa membeli sebuah piano bekas dari dokter piano, Yap Yauw Tjong, di Jl. Kramat Gantung Surabaya.

Keinginan memiliki piano juga sudah terpendam bertahun–tahun. Sebelum belajar piano pada 1953, Stephen sudah bermimpi ingin punya piano. Ia diajar main piano oleh nyonta pendeta CFMU, Ibu The Nai Lian. Saat itu kami tidak memiliki piano. Maka, Stephen harus membuat keyboarad piano dengan bahan papan kayu untuk berlatih. Tangannya menabuh di atas papan kayu, bunyinya ting tang ting tong dari mulut.

Setelah membeli piano dari Yap Yauw Tjong tadi, ternyata pianonya sangat parah kondisinya. Maka, setelah dibuat main hanya tiga hari sudah macet dan rusak. Pianonya dikembalikan. Lalu, melalui informasi dari seorang teman bahwa di Lawang ada seorang yang mau menjual pianonya, Stephen dan aku langsung naik kereta api menuju Lawang di Jl. Pungku Argo.

Kami melihat piano yang mau dijual itu. Ternyata pianonya baik sekali, mereknya F. Dörner Stuttgart buatan Jerman. Lalu kami berpatungan uang, Stephen, aku, dan Ibu, jumlahnya Rp 30.000. Kami berhasil membeli piano tersebut. Dan itu adalah piano pertama yang kami miliki. Mimpi telah menjadi kenyataan. Puji Tuhan, yang telah mendengar doa anak-anak-Nya.

Pada 1957-1958 Stephen mengerjakan tiga pekerjaan sekaligus. Di samping menjadi guru di SD Chung Kwok Nu Sue di Jl. Sidodadi, malamnya mengajar di sekolah malam Gie Hien sebagai pengganti Peter yang pergi ke USA. Ia juga mengajar les privat di rumah murid. Saat itu boleh dikatakan ia sudah mempunyai penghasilan yang cukup besar, tetapi uang yang didapatnya itu dengan rela diserahkan kepada ibu, Tan Tjien Nio, untuk biaya keluarga.

Pada tahun 1957, Stephen mempersembahkan diri menjadi Hamba Tuhan melalui Youth Comp MAAT di Malang. Sejak hari itu hingga saat ini (2009) sudah 52 tahun ia melayani Tuhan. Tahun 1960 Stephen studi teologi di MAAT Malang, lulus 1964, diutus ke Gereja THKTKH Jemaat Hok Tjiu Kwok Yu di Surabaya sebagai penginjil.

Sebelum lulus, Stephen sudah dikenal dengan penginjilannya bukan saja di Surabaya, tetapi juga di Malang, Kediri, Semarang, Makassar, Manado, dan kota kota yang lain. Semangat penginjilannya begitu berkobar-kobar, terkadang harus naik truk dari Surabaya ke Kediri. Aku pernah mendampingi dia bersama naik truk ke Kediri berpraktek di Gereja GKT Jl. Klenteng Kediri sambil berobat di rumah sakit Baptis di Kediri juga.

Stephen juga beberapa kali terhindar dari maut.

Kejadian yang pertama di Jakarta. Stephen mengalami kecelakaan naik kendaraan motor. Ia dibawa ke rumah sakit karena gegar otak. Tetapi pada saat itu ia harus khotbah di Gereja Kristus Ketapang. Ia buru–buru memaksakan diri keluar dari rumah sakit, menuju gereja, naik mimbar dengan kepalanya dibalut.

Kejadian kedua: ia mengalami kecelakaan motor di Surabaya. Dengan motor Yamaha bebek 50 cc, setelah khotbah, pulang dari gereja di Jl. Samudra sampai di perempatan Jl. Bongkaran. Dengan tidak sadar, ia menghatam becak. Ada kemungkinan tertidur saat mengendarai motornya oleh karena terlalu capai.

Orang mengirim Stephen ke rumah. Saat itu hari Minggu. Aku mengajar paduan suara di GKT Malang. Pulang ke rumah sudah di atas pukul 23.00. Aku melihat Stephen berbaring di ranjang, tidak dapat bangun dari tempat tidur, sekujur tubuhnya luka lecet. Melalui seorang pemuda gereja, namanya Ho Djie Wei, dipanggil seorang dokter spesialis urat saraf tetangganya di Jl. Sidoyoso, Dr. Lukas Tjeng.

Tjoe Liang mau datang di rumah pukul 24.00, lalu dibuat surat pengantar opname di Tionghwa Ie Wan (sekarang Rumah Sakit Adi Husada). Malam itu juga, sampai sembuh dua minggu kemudian.

Beberapa orang yang setiap harinya datang membesuk di rumah sakit, di samping aku dan Karlina istriku, masih ada majelis gereja Ibu Tan Tek Ham, Ibu Ho Ai Ik. Biaya pengobatan ditanggung bersama oleh gereja dan aku. Saat di rumah sakit, ada seseorang anak perempuan dari Manado datang ke Surabaya ingin bertemu dengan Stephen.

Aku memberitahu kepadanya bahwa Stephen sedang opname di rumah sakit. Ia paksa ingin menjenguk, namanya Rita. Ia sungguh membuat aku repot dengan macam–macam tindakan yang aneh. Orang ini cinta sepihak pada Stephen. Aku dibuat pusing tujuh keliling, sampai-sampai mengirim daging babi lewat tukang pos.

Aku menolak menerima kirimannya, namun dengan segala cara ia tetap mengirim ke rumahku. Bayangkan, daging babi yang sudah aku tolak tiga hari yang lalu, mengeluarkan bau yang sangat menusuk hidung. Ia pagi sore datamg ke rumah menunggu, akhirnya aku bilang aku mau melaporkan dia ke polisi, baru tidak datang lagi.

Setelah Stephen sembuh, aku berkata kepada Stephen: cepat–cepat nikah sajalah supaya aku tidak terusik terus-menerus oleh gadis-gadis yang jatuh cinta kepadanya. Memang banyak gadis yang menaruh perhatian, apalagi Stephen sering tidak di rumah. Yang menghadapi gadis–gadis tersebut adalah aku dan Karlina.

Stephen mau mempertimbangkan anjuranku tersebut. Dan melalui perencanaan, pembahasan, akhirnya aku dan Karlina mewakili ibuku yang sedang berada di luar negeri untuk melamar Alice, gadis pilihan Stephen. Putri bungsu dari Nyonya Janda Lin Tek Seng, mantan Ketua Majelis GKT Jemaat Hok Tjiu Kwok Yu.

Setelah melamar, Ny. Lin langsung menelepon Alice yang baru berangkat studi di USA, menyuruh dia segera pulang. Mula-mula Alice tidak percaya. Sampai Stephen telepon sendiri langsung untuk melamarnya, barulah ia percaya, dan langsung pulang ke Surabaya. Akhirnya, Stephen mempersunting Alice pada 1971. Saat acara pernikahan dilangsungkan, enam orang sudara Tong untuk pertama kalinya bertemu.

Setelah menikah, Stephen dan istrinya beserta mertuanya suatu saat tinggal bersama serumah dengan aku dan ibu. Stephen kemudian pindah ke Jakarta setelah mendirikan Lembaga Reform Injili bersama-sama dengan Caleb. Saat itu aku diminta bergabung, tetapi aku menyatakan tidak bersedia dengan alasan untuk menghidari tanggapan orang sebagai Lembaga Tong Brothers. Maka, diajaklah Pendeta Yakub Susabda untuk menjadi salah seorang pendiri Lembaga tersebut.

Stephen dikaruniai empat anak, yaitu Elizabeth, David, Unice, dan Rebecca. Di antara keempatnya, pada 2009 ini Rebecca saja yang belum menikah, yang lainnya sudah berkeluarga. Mereka menempuh pendidikan di Amerika. Semuanya melayani pekerjaan Tuhan.

Lembaga Reformed Injili berkembang dengan pesat. Selain telah membuka Sekolah Tinggi Reformed Injili, juga dilengkapi beberapa Sekolah Teologi di beberapa kota, membuka cabang-cabang gereja di kota-kota dalam maupun luar negeri. Di samping itu telah membangun sebuah Gereja Reformed yang terlengkap dan terbesar di Indonesia terletak di daerah Kemayoran Jakarta yang diresmikan pada November 2008.

Dan beban penginjilan maupun pengajaran doktrin reformed-nya tidak pernah pudar. Kini Stephen setiap minggunya harus ke empat negara untuk menjalani misi tersebut. Di samping Indonesia, ia masih harus mengunjungi Singapura, Malaysia, Hongkong, dan Taiwan.

Sumber: Memoar Solomon Tong, Penerbit Jaring Pena (Grup Jawa Pos), 2009, halaman 46-55.

found this from milis pemuda, better read this than my usual crap =P

for now, i'm not ready to give my heart fully for a certain person, terlalu takut diinjak2 dan dibuang again and again...let me take my time and enjoy the moment..

udah deket2 ultah gini jadi pengen bikin refleksi...

dari tahun lalu, here's the list of events and major happenings:

- april: pindah ke ibn dr exploit

- mei: pulang indo terus dimarah2in bos sampe juni, hampir tiap hari

- juni: presentasi ke exec directors, it was a super awesome one, unbeatable.

- july: reversal of fate in ibn, arrival of the w****. i'm so sorry if you feel offended reading this, but i rlly have no other nicknames for that person. so please bear with me.

- august: putus, terus mutusin untuk apply phd mati2an. i told myself i must create my own destiny as has been hinted by fate. kayaknya bulan ini juga mulai operasi kelinci. an eye opening experience.

- september: banyak belanja, keluarga datang pas hari raya jadi lumayan terhibur, terus sign up Trueyoga. sala 1 research fellow di grup gw berhenti. mulai deket sama colleague2 di grup gw gara2 masalah pori2 yang segede nm lah, apa lagi...dari dulu masalah nya itu. bekerjasama mati2an cari solusinya.

- october: kayaknya mulai dkt sama itu org. secara mata dunia, emang susah menemukan co kayak dia romantically speaking. kayaknya dia bs baca pikiran gw, apalg minat dan hobi mirip2 semua. dia suka bidang teater, uda gt pinter nyanyi lagi. jago masak jg, humoris banget, dan bener2 pinter. bener2 jatuh hati, uda lama banget ga perna ketemu chemistry yang kayak gini. sempet berpikir gimana kalau lain kali nikah sm orang yang gak percaya aja tapi soal2 lainnya memenuhi standar semua. inilah cinta itu buta, bener2 applicable ke gw. gara2 itu pula jd sadar kayaknya hidup gw uda mulai melenceng dari jalur yang seharusnya. baca artikelnya luke tan. gak nemu persekutuan dari temen2 nus. datenglah ke chenli. punya temen2 baru, dan ada revival somehow. entah dari kotbahnya atau dari bible studynya, yang jelas ada revival dr minggu ke minggu. yang jelas, anak2 ntu di chenli itu nggak eksklusif dan lumayan welcome temen2 baru.

- november: pindah lab ke lantai 2. media preview. salah 1 colleague berhenti lagi, kali ini lab officer. sempet terpukul krn berasa ditinggalkan. kayaknya by this time semua org di grup udah nyerah d dg masalah yang itu. gw sampai skrg masih dkt sm itu orang. apakah sampai skrg masih suka, kayaknya sih iya. yah kayak gw bilang susah ketemu tiap hr. kalo soal rlly care gak tau jg, susah dibilang karena ga ada komitmen apa2. tp gw bakal berusaha untuk keep relasi sebagai teman dekat gak lebih dr itu...gw barusan diceraikan hr ini, gw bilang ke dia sejak kapan elu suami gw? tapi masih temen dan colleague lah. yah tolong doakan kalo mslh ini kalian rasa lumayan penting. gile jumat depan uda ke jogja la bareng ktb. cpt banget tahun 2009 udah mau abis.

so far 2009 has been a really different and challenging year for me to grow as an adult, rlly having solid meat as food this year, no longer milk. and i still want to change my destiny. bakal update lagi seputar ultah gw. i hope by th 2010 many aspects in my life can be repaired fully, terutama soal karir dan masalah hati supaya gak bitter terus. yang terutama harus diperbaiki skrg ya soal relasi dg Tuhan.

there's a great thing i have learnt about me lately, is my openmindedness to learn ANYTHING.

I remembered picking up hiphop dance when i was year 1. in year 3 i picked up korean language, of course i've been learning chinese as well. in year 4, i was busy learning synthetic skills of course. then after i graduated i picked up cooking. i still feel uneasy learning to cook unhealthy stuffs with high fat contents, but i might try later on. year 2 after i graduated, i picked up yoga and bollywood dance and also korean cooking. wonder what else can i learn next yr? learning to play a musical instrument? that would be great too. the most important thing is that i must go back to school, otherwise I'm getting stupider and slower.

our cute and funny dance master is leaving us this month, like too soon...so sad =( i hope they will recruit a new and young modern style dance master soon. otherwise, it will be so boring doing only yoga, pilates, and bodycombat every week ><

So this video is dedicated to him, learned the dance for this song today, new song =) haule haule. the song is about patience in love. cos shahrukh khan is set up to an arranged marriage to take care of this girl who no longer has her parents and she at first couldn't love him because of his personality. then he created a new identity as a dancer in the dancing school she's currently enrolled in. so you can imagine the weirdness of the character alrdy =P Shahrukh khan is so funny in this movie and the girl is like soooo pretty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGB572v7MHA

and his showcase:

http://www.youtube.com/user/UdaySathala#p/a/f/1/e00bEVPde08

Currently listening to: haule haule

i'm teaching the clueless guys now. when the love of your life is not attracted to you for now, try again and again to win her heart. if you really love the girl, she will be able to see it that one time in her life you've always loved her. who knows you will have a chance then. try the soft, sweet, and slow method. be persistent. just don't be too annoying/creepy, she might run away.

meanwhile, i almost finish d/ling rab ne bana di jodi with english subs, gonna watch it tml...whoo hoo i'm excited.

how pragmatic i have become living in this country...

Me: I think normal guys in general wouldn't like me cos i'm so weird and annoying.

Friend: I think if I were a guy I would find you adorable.

Me: Hmm I think I would have liked you if I were a guy too, cos you are very affectionate.

Friend: Do you think we are lesbians?

Me: No, I'm sure we're very straight.

Currently listening to: Nadia - Rewind

1. Love mera hit hit from Billu Barber http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYyKvp5oT8Q

2. Dance pe chance from Rab ne bana di jodi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9_5Lyp46V4

3. Guzarish from Ghajini http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXfMMdc4HDg

4. Kaise Mujhe from Ghajini http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M222TuEJ0E4

5. Jee Le by Luck http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWlNZrFXVnw

6. Tera Hone Laga Hoon from Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdYot0OQO6c

7. Marjani from Billu Barber http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7KqL50n1uo

8. Tennu le from Jai Veeru http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20RddK-zbYI

9. Chor bazaari from Love aaj kal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlcPENI_fds

10. Haule haule from Rab ne bana di jodi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBz9YU3fLpk

Verse 1:
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
Coz everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now Im left with nothing

Chorus:
Maybe its true, that I cant live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
Theres so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And youve already got me coming undone
And Im thinking two, is better than one

Verse 2:
I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
Coz when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
I'm finally now believing

Chorus:
And maybe its true, that I cant live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
Theres so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And youve already got me coming undone
And Im thinking two, is better than one

Yeah yeah.

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey

Chrous:
And maybe its true, that I cant live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
Theres so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And youve already got me coming undone
And Im thinking

Oooh I cant live without you
Coz baby two is better than one
Theres so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
But Ive figured out with all thats said and done
That two, is better than one

Two. Is better than one

We were seventeen and invincible,
Had the world figured out ,
And a girl on my shoulder,
Told me everythings gonna be alright,
Whoah,
And everything was gonna be alright,
Whoah,

Yeah maybe we were in high school,
But you never see the ending,
Where youre young in love pretending,
Singing everythings gonna be alright,
Whoah,
And everything was gonna be alright,
Whoah,

Buried her deep inside,
Stars stuck in my eyes,

Now shes got a boyfriend,
And Ive got a rockband,
Cause nothing really ever goes the way its planned,
Now shes in Ohio,
And Im on some back road,
Driving to the city,
And then who knows?
Thats all,
She wrote,
I wish that I could turn this car around,
But shes got a boyfriend now..



Whoah,
Whoah,

And I,
Took a trip out to LA,
For the girl with a smile,
That could take your breath away,
Im thinking everythings gonna be alright,
Whoah,
And everything was gonna be alright,
Whoah,

Maybe I thought I could sneak in,
And sweep her off her feet,
And go right back to Boston,
Thinking everythings gonna be alright,
Whoah,
And everything was gonna be alright,
Whoah,

These streets keep holding on,
But now shes so far gone.

Now shes got a boyfriend,
And Ive got a rockband,
Cause nothing ever really goes the way its planned,
Yeah shes on the west coast,
And Im on some back road,
Heading to the city,
And then who knows?
Cause thats all,
She wrote,
I wish that I could turn this car around,
But shes got a boyfriend now..

Im taking back to you,
So now its everything that I dont know,
Its so hard,
Tore us apart,
Im taking back the feeling,
You just keep dealing me the wrong cards,
Now youre just so far.

And Im,
Twenty three and invincible,
Got the world figured out and,
And a bird on my shoulder,
Telling me everythings gonna be alright,
And when is everything gonna be alright?

And now shes got a boyfriend,
And Ive got a rockband,
Cause nothing really ever goes the way its planned,
Yeah shes in Ohio,
And Im on some back road,
Driving to the city and then who knows?
Cause thats all
She wrote,
I wish that I could turn this car around,
Cause there she goes,
I wish that I could press rewind somehow,
Cause shes got a boyfriend now

Whoah,

Whoah,

[Shes got a boyfriend now]


Whoah,

Whoah,

Take your

[Shes got a boyfriend now]

Take your ,,

Breath, breath, breath, breath, away

Take your,
Take your,
Breath, breath, breath away

[Now]

needs some time alone on her real birthday.