http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BPPl9TA0vk

not so lucky don't have any bestfriend to fall in love with...

wasting our lives stalking each other...no good...i don't want to live a life like that forever.

Charlyne Yi does not believe in love. Or so she says. Well, at the very least, she doesnt believe in fairy-tale love or the Hollywood mythology of love, and her own experiences have turned her into yet another modern-day skeptic. PAPER HEART follows Charlyne as she embarks on a quest across America to make a documentary about the one subject she doesnt fully understand. As she and her good friend (and director) Nicholas search for answers and advice about love, Charlyne talks with friends and strangers, scientists, bikers, romance novelists, and children. They each offer diverse views on modern romance, as well as various answers to the age-old question: does true love really exist? Then, shortly after filming begins, Charlyne meets a boy after her own heart: Michael Cera. As their relationship develops on camera, her pursuit to discover the nature of love takes on a fresh new urgency. Charlyne risks losing the person she finds closest to her heart. Combining elements of documentary and traditional storytelling, reality and fantasy, PAPER HEART brings a fresh perspective to the modern romance and redefines the classic love story.

P.s. and i was like, hey that's like me! I need to believe in love again...like urgently, cos i need to believe it is not good for man to be alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cI1YN32a5HQ the trailer

http://people.howstuffworks.com/love6.htm (the chemicals functioning when people are in love)

I strongly encourage all romance skeptics to watch it! so beautiful, real, and down-to-earth i shed some tears in the middle of the movie (tears of aww-ness, nothing sad really...). if true love can be so beautiful (maybe that's how God meant it to be in the beginning of creation), i think it is worth it to take the risk and go through a relationship till the finishing line.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlPq38rHQ

a showcase of her vocals...

But when I'm down and feeling blue

I close my eyes so I can be with you

Oh baby be strong for me

Baby belong to me

Help me through

Help me need you...

I like listening and singing along to songs from this movie when I need some encouragement to go on and move forward.

i was thinking about this while preparing for my cell group tomorrow (not going jurong point akhirnya =P)...

more similar personality, less quarreling or more quarreling?

IMHO, should be less quarreling although it still may exist but by right should be less. so yeah, probably that someone better be someone similar to you. complementary in duty, but may not be complementary in personality. less quarreling should mean better relationship, provided the important (read: indispensable) beliefs/doctrines are similar enough. that's what i can think of right now. if you want to argue with me, hey, i think this way also based on experience you know. unless you have even more experience than me, then let's talk about it =P it is ok to differ in variety, but it is not ok to be opposites too much. that's the bottomline.

more specifically, the important take-home point for today is...for ladies, find someone whom u know very well can provide headship which implies leadership, protection, and provision.

How should teenagers handle relationships with the opposite sex?

I think that it is good to postpone dating and pairing off as long as possible. Meaning, postpone it until it's ready to mean what it was designed to mean.

Pairing off is a powerful thing. If the relationship here means groups of 4, 8, or 20 people doing stuff together without the dynamic of "she and I are a thing," you know, that's great. But this question is talking about pairing off.

Pairing off is hormonally charged, psychologically charged, physically charged, spiritually charged, and it is meant to be! It's meant to lead somewhere! And it's beautiful where it is meant to lead.

Therefore my counsel is that as the electric charge begins to happen between two seventeen-year-olds, they better think really clearly about how to manage that. And if they don't intend to get married in the next year or so, they better not pair off but keep it in groups and step back from it.

To Talitha, my daughter, I say, "Through high school, keep it at groups. And then when the guy shows up, tell him to call me"—that's one way to manage it—"and we'll talk about what it should look like."

Long engagements are hard and dangerous. And so I think we should probably marry earlier, if we prepare our children well, or postpone dating till later. Because these long pairs aren't healthy for any of us.

just now we shared each of our five top criteria for a life partner...i would like to remind myself again my own criteria so that i can keep it in mind next time...

1. seiman, God-fearing man

2. mature, can lead and mapan (gila, jadi 3 dlm 1 nomor gini =P)

3. humoris, cos i am a melancholic person. so pessimistic often. besides that i don't want to be a solo entertainer in a relationship, it's so b-o-r-i-n-g. let's entertain each other instead.

4. logical, an aktb termed it "bisa menaklukkan ce-nya" kalo debat hehe so cieeh right =P

5. smart (you know, i'm a sucker for totally brilliant guys and i'm ok with high-flying geeks), nyambung kalo ngobrol

susah d kayaknya, mesti mature, entertainer, smart lagi.

Currently listening to: T-ara - Time to love

ARIEL
(Maybe he's right. Maybe there is something the matter with me.
I just don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad.)

Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you think
Sure, she's got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs?
I've got twenty!
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see, wanna see them dancin'
Walking around on those - what do you call 'em?
Oh - feet!

Flippin' your fins, you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
Strolling along down a - what's that word again?
Street

Up where they walk, up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free - wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give if I could live out of these waters?
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
Bet'cha on land they understand
That they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women sick of swimmin'
Ready to stand

And ready to know what the people know
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers
What's a fire and why does it - what's the word?
Burn?

When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that world up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world

Currently listening to: under the sea cos sebastian is no doubt the cutest crab ever!

 don't you just love this? his name is snowy. we keep him in the fridge. complete with a wife.

i will never ever ask a guy out like a friend does. cos it just doesn't work that way.

i've just heard that some guys in college apparently enjoy discussing trashy things, such as girls' bodies! I mean as in discussing bodies of girls they all know in common. Weird, right? I know the newer generation faces this kind of problem. The girls are more agressive and the guys also take them very cheaply. Ck ck ck At least I've never heard any of my close guy friends talking like that. Shame on you, next generation boys! A disgrace to the whole male population.

P.S. I have heard some young Indo boys chitchating about some of their friends' b***s too while on a bus trip before. This is just getting WEIRD if guys on COLLEGE still discuss about such things. Haven't they passed their puberty? I have no grudge whatsoever to the whole male population, but I just find this phenomenon trashy.

ga niat ngapa2in, cape de~~~

It's like walking on snow, without leaving a trace
you know what you said never carried no weight
I came out untouched and in another place
when ya gonna get it?,
I'm so unaffected

Currently listening to: jordin sparks - walking on snow

Having a Second Lead Crush Syndrome (as how Javabean coined the term) on this guy from A.N.JELL. I have moved on from Asher Book, he got way too many fans.

Currently listening to: Carla Bruni - Quelqu'un M'a Dit

i can't resist not buying and cooking quality ingredients...feel like making bibimbap...

another thing i can't resist would be a hong sisters drama, for example is this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_-UvYWyOhc&NR=1

Koleris-Melankolis

Mereka yang mempunyai kombinasi koleris-melankolis adalah orang yang teliti, cermat, analitis, cepat dan berani. Tipe ini mampu melakukan analisis secara mendalam (sifat melankolis) namun sangat cepat (sifat koleris) sehingga hasil pekerjaannya jauh lebih produktif daripada tipe melankolis murni, lebih cermat serta lebih memperhatikan detail dibandingkan dengan tipe koleris murni. Sifat melankolis yang terlalu kritis, perfeksionis dan lambat dalam bertindak diimbangi dengan optimisme dan sifat praktis seorang koleris. Dengan demikian, orang dengan tipe ini mampu bertindak cepat dan hati-hati serta luar biasa produktif.

Sifat pragmatis dari koleris yang tidak terlalu mempedulikan cara mencapai tujuan akan disempurnakan oleh sifat melankolis yang menghargai kualitas hasil pekerjaan dan kebenaran cara mencapainya.

Seseorang yang mempunyai tipe koleris-melankolis biasanya optimis mencapai tujuan, keras kepala, dan mudah marah. Kemampuan seorang koleris yang dapat mengambil keputusan secara cepat dan selalu berpikir bahwa dia selalu benar seperti halnya seorang melankolis murni akan menyebabkan orang ini cenderung ororiter, sombong, dan tidak merasa membutuhkan orang lain. Inilah kelemahan tipe koleris-melankolis ini.

from: http://cybersurferzone.blogspot.com/search/label/Psikologi

a friend called this combination satanic combination cos we are usually hated by many people...

got everything done already except for:

4 referee reports

research proposal

statement of purpose

Currently feeling: accomplished

Look at me
I will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter
Can it be
I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see
That if I were truly to be myself
I would break my fam'ly's heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

people whose fave readings are fictions instead of non-fictions grow more ability to sympathize with others.

anyway, i'm still not an avid reader, neither fiction nor non-fiction. i don't read books/papers unless i find a direct purpose in reading them. at least i find direct purpose in fictions though, simple enjoyment of literature style and richness of emotions. i pity those who can think so logically without richness of emotions.

bottomline: respect differences la!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LDiWft9mgo

Dhoom tana ta dhoom tananana
Dhoom tana ta dhoom tananana
Dhoom tana dena dena
Dhoom tana …
Kaise main nose nain milaoon sajna
How do I meet eyes with you, love
Kaise main aise na ghabraoon sajna
How can I not be afraid, love
Kaise
How
Aay na aisa mujhe laaj sajna
I won’t be swayed so easily my love
Chhoona na dekho mujhe aaj sajna
Do not touch me or else, my love
Dhoom tana …
Mignaini tu na jaane
Silly girl, you don’t know
Prem kitna mere mann mein hai
How much love for you I have
Yeh bechaini mangti hai
This restlessness asks for
Roop jot tere yovan mein hain
That face of yours
Tera phool sa hai ang
Like a flower is style
Tere ang mein hai rang
There is colour in your style
Tere rang ke main sang goriye
With your colours I want to be, fair one
Tere rang mein hai roop
In your colours there’s your face
Tere roop mein hai dhoop
Your face shines like the sunshine
Teri dhoop hai anoop goriye
Your sunshine is blinding, fair one
Sajna se kaahe aahe naas sajni
Why do you do this to your lover, my love
Chhoo ne de ang mohe aaj sajni
Let me touch you today my love
Dhoom tana …

Jhalki jhalki phirti
I walk around
Thalki thalki si phirti hoon
I walk around like crazy
Jism hai mera koi jaam hain jaise
Like my body is a glass (of wine)
Nazre milati
Meeting eyes
Khaabon mein sama jaati hoon
Getting lost in my dreams
Dil mein bas jaana mera kaam hai jaise
Living in people’s hearts as though it is my work
Dil mein mere bas ja maine roka kab hai
Live in my heart I never did stop you
Lekin kya armaan hai mera yeh to samjhaane de
But listen once what my real desires are
Sajna se kaahe aahe naas sajni
Chho ne de ang mohe aaj sajni
Dhoom tana …

Kaise banjaara mann ki baat mein aaye
How do I explain it to him
Kaise ikra ja to meet banaaye
How do I meet his demands
Kaise
How
Pehnoo main pyaar ka yeh taaj sajna
Can I wear this sign of your affection, my love
Karte ho tum kyon dil pe raaj sajna
Why so possessive of my heart, my love
Dhoom tana …
Mignaini tu na jaane
Prem kitna mere mann mein hai
Yeh bechaini mangti hai
Roop jot tere yovan mein hain
Mere meet tere geet
My dear friend, your songs
Tere geet mein hai preet
In your songs there is comfort
Teri preet meri jeet goriye
Your comfort is my victory, fair one
Meri jeet mein bhi haar
In my victory there is a loss
Meri haar mein hai pyaar
In my loss is my love
Mere pyaar mein ikraar goriye
In my love there is a sign, fair one
Bhool ke saare kaam aaj sajni
Forget all the work today, my love
Chhoo ne de ang mohe aaj sajni
Aay na aisa mujhe laaj sajna
Chhoona na dekho mujhe aaj sajna
Dhoom tana …

Currently feeling: it's raining man and i have to go to work

Retreat for an hour or two of tranquility at True Yoga - the largest premier yoga centre in Singapore - and get away from the stress of modern life.

read more at www.trueyoga.com.sg

I guess putting exercise as an integral part of my life improves my productivity and energy to do everyday's work. Some more the dances never fail to put a smile into my face...I have no regrets at all signing up for this. They have classes almost every hour from 9 am to 10 pm monday-sunday. very flexible scheduling. if you don't want to sign up immediately for a membership, try the trial class first at only $8 I think.

i want to learn to be more open-minded and less-judgmental to those people i have known very little about.

Currently listening to: 2ne1 - i don't care

it may sound strange, but i can identify more with those people who's been in very deep emotional struggles. they decide to keep it all to themselves. it indeed requires God's grace to heal those bitterly jaded souls. it is almost impossible to men, but not impossible to God I suppose.

Currently listening to: meatloaf - i'd lie for you (and that's the truth)

http://www.maangchi.com/recipe/kongnamulguk

apparently this one worked even after i changed the huge dried anchovies with normal-sized singapore dried anchovies. bought white radish kimchi to be eaten together with it, delicious! cheap, healthy, and delicious soup.

next!

is so addicted to working out.

no more of that indian classical dance though, too temple-like and it was horror staying there for 1 hr. Rhythym was too hard to follow, very irregular. I dislike the music as well =/ I'd rather fusion or bollywood. Will take fusion this friday and try bhangra on sunday afternoon. Uday is definitely my fave dance master, will stick to him for now. Now, watch this   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1TYQ6ByDAI it's the bollywood routine. so cool, he even got his dances uploaded on Youtube. the fusion one was not uploaded though. After this week, i will decide whether to follow fusion or bhangra as a routine.

Currently listening to: 4 minute - hot issue

I seriously need to stop spending my money like this. It seems that I have very small will power concerning savings right now. this is not good, will not fall into the same traps again. must avoid them.

I shall not be defeated by what the witch had said about me. This is so dejavu that one time i can never forget in my junior high year, being so humiliated in that manner.

But, isn't it true that your appearance influences how people treat you? C'mon this is very real. Even something very simple like whether you put makeup or no makeup, you can see that people behave differently already. I'm still trying to justify my spending on the spa package *sigh*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI8QZMU6aTM

jadi suka lagu ini haha parah selera uda jadi bollywood2 gini...8-)

found out abt this song from Topshop's tweet, not bad ar? I think it's quite a motivating song. and no, i didn't mean specifically for that kind of love. it can be for anything, even research

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse (curse)
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get your hurt
Is it better is it worse
Are we sitting in reverse
Its just like we´re going backwards
I know where I want this to go
We´re driving fast but lets go slow
What I dont want to do is crash no

Just know you´re not in this thing alone
There´s always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we´re growing apart
Let´s just go back back back back back to the start

Anything that´s worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
If its worth having its worth fighting for (Oh)

Now everyday aint gon' be no picnic (Mm)
Love aint no walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it yeah
Can´t be afraid of the dark

Just know you´re not in this thing alone
There´s always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we´re growing apart
Let´s just go back back back back back to the start

Anything that´s worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
Its worth having its worth fighting for (Oh)

I don´t know where we´re heading
I´m willing and ready to go
We've been driving so fast we just need to slow down
And just roll

Anything that´s worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quit is out of the question
We it gets tough gotta fight some more
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
Its worth having its worth fighting for (Oh) x Repeat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhDZi4IJpbw&feature=channel

I'm not your toy
This isn't another girl meets boy

http://www.dummymag.com/features/2009/02/13/la-roux/

Late roses are always the most beautiful.

what if i just don't feel like dancing tonight?

Do you remember what I was when we first met? I'd built walls around my heart, gated them, and thrown away the key. I had been hurt, I told you from the beginning. I'd been used, tricked, played with, but most of all, hurt. I thought it best to never fall in love again. So I locked my heart.

Now I know. You didn't find the key. You broke into my heart, and I let you. Just don't break my heart.

-K

The blog was introduced to me by Ms Suhaila Taher, totally love it too!

i hate it how the ideal christian men and women are so stereotypical while in fact, the world is too pluralistic for that. this is just like fashion before coco chanel revolutionized many things.

one thing i'm sure about is that, i don't think that ALL godly men are those being buried by doctrinal books every day and every night. i'm sure they should by right have the time to socialize with people to put some of what they've read into practice.

vice versa abt women, esp. married women. how can one be so sure that married women shouldn't have a fruitful career life? Even the wife described in Proverbs 31 had that.

can i seek for spiritual help? i seriously think i am deteriorating...

i am going to chenli tomorrow...i really hope to hear something applicable to practical life...before i become even more secular than now, i'm afraid.

I doubt God will let me perish this way.

 ¹³ "You have said harsh things against me," says the LORD.
      "Yet you ask, 'What have we said against you?'

 ¹⁴ "You have said, 'It is futile to serve God. What did we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the LORD Almighty? ¹⁵ But now we call the arrogant blessed. Certainly the evildoers prosper, and even those who challenge God escape.' "

 ¹⁶ Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name.

 ¹⁷ "They will be mine," says the LORD Almighty, "in the day when I make up my treasured possession. ^[a] I will spare them, just as in compassion a man spares his son who serves him. ¹⁸ And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.

Malachi 4

The Day of the LORD

 ¹ "Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire," says the LORD Almighty. "Not a root or a branch will be left to them. ² But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall. ³ Then you will trample down the wicked; they will be ashes under the soles of your feet on the day when I do these things," says the LORD Almighty.

And so, this was the passage from this morning's sermon at Chenli's english/mandarin service. I didn't know they have combined service, the sermon was very carefully translated from English to Mandarin. Some of the songs of course I couldn't sing due to my Chinese limitedness.

Yea, I totally felt like the Israelites. I had done nothing wrong this time. I didn't purposely sin against the Lord or anything, but yet suddenly people just wronged me like that. Some more these people are also Christians. I thought to myself, surely the non-Christians seem to have better luck in everything than me. I really don't understand until now what went wrong this time. I guess God's plan is way above my plans.

At first, I sinfully thought why don't I just follow the lifestyle of non-believers if they seem to be content and happy. But of course I realized that I was wrong...We have the privillege as God's treasured possession! While the wicked will be thrown away to the fire on the last day.

Sometimes when we fall down and couldn't get up again, people just walk over you like they care. They must really thought you can get up on your own, why bother and help? Since they've known you so well. Only then, I saw God offered His hand to me, helping me to get up again...when we desperately humble ourselves and seek for God's spiritual help, I know God will not disappoint His children. Also sometime, those people far away from you care for your life far more than those whom you always see so often. Thank God.

And now, I shall wait for Shirleen's book "Sex, sushi, and salvation" what is it about I totally dunno? Let's just wait and see =)

What else happened to me today was this...On my way to Ion from Pacific Plaza after my Bhangra class I was stopped by these people from Church of God. They're trying to make me believe in god the mother. They clearly just anyhow comot2 ayat from a few books in the New Testament and then try to prove their point. Thank God I was able to answer them correctly. I hope they will realize their mistake someday.

Currently listening to: Discowale Khisko from Dil Bole Hadippa OST (was our song for Bhangra today)

You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know ...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

sometimes i do have the urge to stalk my stalkers back.

such a stalker who got stalked by the invisible. i'm cool.

then randomly, after reading a few chapters of the book sex, sushi, and salvation, i got reminded on how much of a multicultural sponge i have become lately. i should put back my filter.

thanking shirleen for the sour and sweet panacotta too. such a dear sister to me. finally talked heart to heart with her. our ktb should NEVER get disbanded, man. yeah, that's the spirit!

This was quoted by Rev. Dr Daniel Koh yesterday:

"The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else." - Oswald Chambers

He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

somehow the Word came to my mind this morning...when I feel that I dunno anymore what purpose do I have in this world.

need to interview some real phd students by this week. neither people going to take phd nor long time phd holders. preferably not engineers, cos science is always different from engineering. see, we are NOT encouraged to clear all our modules by first year la. maybe engineering students do, but not for EXTREME labbers like us.

what makes them still press on even if there's no result at all for let's say 1-2 years? i need to know.

i am starting to question myself whether i have enough strength to carry on, to begin with this?

sometimes it seems that i'm so sure of myself, but then there's always some reluctance in dealing with the very very ugly difficulties. it's probably human nature. honestly, i hate being a girl distracted by so many other hobbies around her. i wish i were a guy.

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

is truly madly deeply antisocial.

really need an oppa figure. hoping it would be you.

Currently listening to: ronan keating - when you say nothing at all

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh3Jjfa58BU

i can't help being reminded of blair & chuck listening to this song..I miss watching Gossip Girl. One day I rlly shld watch season 3.

I am trying to keep my cool despite all the things happening lately. very life transforming. But this passage has strengthened me.

Psalms 73

A psalm of Asaph.

 ¹Surely God is good to Israel,
       to those who are pure in heart.

 ² But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
       I had nearly lost my foothold.

 ³ For I envied the arrogant
       when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

 ⁴ They have no struggles;
       their bodies are healthy and strong. ^[a]

 ⁵ They are free from the burdens common to man;
       they are not plagued by human ills.

 ⁶ Therefore pride is their necklace;
       they clothe themselves with violence.

 ⁷ From their callous hearts comes iniquity ^[b] ;
       the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

 ⁸ They scoff, and speak with malice;
       in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

 ⁹ Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
       and their tongues take possession of the earth.

 ¹⁰ Therefore their people turn to them
       and drink up waters in abundance. ^[c]

 ¹¹ They say, "How can God know?
       Does the Most High have knowledge?"

 ¹² This is what the wicked are like—
       always carefree, they increase in wealth.

 ¹³ Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
       in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

 ¹⁴ All day long I have been plagued;
       I have been punished every morning.

 ¹⁵ If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
       I would have betrayed your children.

 ¹⁶ When I tried to understand all this,
       it was oppressive to me

 ¹⁷ till I entered the sanctuary of God;
       then I understood their final destiny.

 ¹⁸ Surely you place them on slippery ground;
       you cast them down to ruin.

 ¹⁹ How suddenly are they destroyed,
       completely swept away by terrors!

 ²⁰ As a dream when one awakes,
       so when you arise, O Lord,
       you will despise them as fantasies.

 ²¹ When my heart was grieved
       and my spirit embittered,

 ²² I was senseless and ignorant;
       I was a brute beast before you.

 ²³ Yet I am always with you;
       you hold me by my right hand.

 ²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
       and afterward you will take me into glory.

 ²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
       And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

 ²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
       but God is the strength of my heart
       and my portion forever.

 ²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
       you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

 ²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
       I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
       I will tell of all your deeds.

Currently listening to: usher - burn

blessed are those who mourn. Thank God for all the tears, thank God I can still feel guilty before Him.

Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

the moment you simply forgot about God's grace, your own sinfulness, and Christ's imputed righteousness; you also forgot what sins you are capable of doing as a sinner, then you fell into the trap of self-voices whispering into your ears that you need to attain God's perfect righteousness with your own limited and polluted self-righteousness, which is practically impossible and kills all your joy from living in Christ as God's children.

ever wonder what would it be like if dance music had "nice" lyrics? as in not promoting sensuality, violence, and the like?