I hope I won't lose my gratefulness to God ever since I got this job, the salary came just on time to cover up the fee for my next crib. I really should always remember that this all is from God...I must not take it for granted. I must have a careful plan of my own account from now on, cos I'm a literal student no more. God gives and He takes away...

Currently listening to: Crown J ft. Seo In Young - Too Much

some people...e.g. me...then p**, I guess we're born to be in the MTV generation. sometimes when I think again, my preference just happens to belong to the cool and up-to-date group...bukan korban mode, atau pencarian jati diri. it just happens to be so...and I'm still happy with it =) I guess people like us can continuously interact with the young generation...youth group, maybe? anak kuliah? hmm...

Life goes on, meanwhile I'm trying too hard to deal with my deteriorating intelligence and problem solving skill. I thought I was smarter back then when I was in university. Or is it the difficulty of life which is increasing? I don't know myself. God, help me. I don't have anyone else to depend on but YOU.

I honestly have this gut feeling that I may get sacked after 6 months...seriously, failure has been my daily bread this week...I dunno until when I can survive all this. One failure leads to another. the domino effect. I just want to break down and cry. Eventhough I have to admit that failure is also a process of learning.

P.S. You should not work in a chemistry lab when you're unwell emotionally...I find this advice from my HYP mentor to be true generally. Another thing, do not take whatever command from the wizard directly into your brain, make sure you process it first until it's well done. seriously.

Thank God for bringing me out of my wretched life. I certainly was a different person back then, really horrified when I look back at who I was before conversion. I can never thank Him enough.

Currently feeling: pulang

I wish I were a guy sometimes...or is it more like, male research technologists are needed in the future...what a machine. should i build up muscles?

Currently feeling: gak niat kerja

I prefer this batch to last year's one, reason-wise, better ask personally...I hope things are improving this year in NUS ^_^ Happy studying for Indons in NUS...

J-Walk ft Eun Ji Won - My Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RngZDEIuAD4

Big Bang - Day by Day (yeah they're back =D more of TOP and G-Dragon in this album I guess)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76v7ogxeNvo

Crown J ft Seo In Young (the "A!" couple) - Too Much

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjB7HepTXck

I don't really like Tuesdays...

meanwhile, still being pengangguran @ u-know-where...

ah well...what to do?

I feel so-so-so owned 830-600 monday - thu

and instron is under maintenance...finally...

the mummy: tomb of the dragon emperor is one of the most ridiculously funny movies I've ever watched. no 2 would be kungfu panda, its jokes are not as ridiculous as the mummy 3. accidentally funny. you know. that category of funny. makes you fall flat on your face many many times. you know what I mean don't you?

"The daughter of General Ming...she will be mine!" ~ the dragon emperor. I find this quote to be ridiculously funny -_-''

Currently listening to: big bang - always

16We know love by this, that (AP)He laid down His life for us; and (AQ)we ought to lay down our lives for the (AR)brethren. 17But (AS)whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need and (AT)closes his heart against him, (AU)how does the love of God abide in him? 18(AV)Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and (AW)truth.

1 John 3:16-18

Currently listening to: Rihanna - take a bow

me: I'm bored...

colleague: that's why you have to do your things slowly...

suddenly all the puzzle pieces fell into their places =P oh my...okay, I got it now.

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater than the risk that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Currently listening to: Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

just be that self that you wear coming into the world. eventhough yes, purpose is clear for sure. but whatever talent that you have, use it to the max. you never know when or where it might be a blessing for others. utilizing whatever God-given gifts that you have, responsibly, is being the most hip you can be. well, that's my definition =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eZR3-AmeGc

Big bang is the only kpop group of which I like all their members. All the members almost always contribute to their songs. without GD and TOP, I think the songs will be less punkish and cool...without Taeyang, Seungri and Daesung, their songs will lack melodious harmony. I wish they could stay performing for a long long time, but that's probably just a wish of their fans...

Currently listening to: big bang - haru haru

For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light.

isn't is scary that one day every little details of our lives are going to be revealed? therefore, we must care enough to live our lives responsibly before God.

update: aktbs are very on, yayy =D I must be more enthusiastic too =)

I love you only you I need you
the way i look at you and the way I talk
they seem to resemble you little by little
My mood that’s as bright and cheerful as the sun
Heaven’s gift sent from above
You’re my last love~ Oh~ i love it

1. ginvera whitening marvel gel

2. garnier spf 15 moisturizing cream

3. garnier cleansing foam (yellow one)

4. garnier whitening tissue infusion mask

5. purederm collagen mask

6. bioessence anti dark-circles essence

i don't care anymore, as long as I've done what's told, my job is done. My direct boss is Father in heaven anyway...I should always keep this in mind no matter whatever job I'm pursuing and in whatever state that task is.

Psalm 94

The LORD Implored to Avenge His People.

    1O LORD, God of ^(A)vengeance,
         God of vengeance, ^(B)shine forth!
    2^(C)Rise up, O ^(D)Judge of the earth,
         Render recompense ^(E)to the proud.
    3How long shall the wicked, O LORD,
         How long shall the ^(F)wicked exult?
    4They pour forth words, they ^(G)speak arrogantly;
         All who do wickedness ^(H)vaunt themselves.
    5They ^(I)crush Your people, O LORD,
         And ^(J)afflict Your heritage.
    6They ^(K)slay the widow and the stranger
         And murder the orphans.
    7^(L)They have said, "The LORD does not see,
         Nor does the God of Jacob pay heed."
    8Pay heed, you ^(M)senseless among the people;
         And when will you understand, ^(N)stupid ones?
    9He who ^(O)planted the ear, does He not hear?
         He who formed the eye, does He not see?
    10He who ^(P)chastens the nations, will He not rebuke,
         Even He who ^(Q)teaches man knowledge?
    11The LORD ^(R)knows the thoughts of man,
         That they are a mere breath.
    12Blessed is the man whom ^(S)You chasten, O LORD,
         And ^(T)whom You teach out of Your law;
    13That You may grant him ^(U)relief from the ^(V)days of adversity,
         Until ^(W)a pit is dug for the wicked.
    14For ^(X)the LORD will not abandon His people,
         Nor will He ^(Y)forsake His inheritance.
    15For ^(Z)judgment will again be righteous,
         And all the upright in heart will follow it.
    16Who will ^(AA)stand up for me against evildoers?
         Who will take his stand for me ^(AB)against those who do wickedness?
    17If ^(AC)the LORD had not been my help,
         My soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence.
    18If I should say, "^(AD)My foot has slipped,"
         Your lovingkindness, O LORD, will hold me up.
    19When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,
         Your ^(AE)consolations delight my soul.
    20Can a ^(AF)throne of destruction be allied with You,
         One ^(AG)which devises mischief by decree?
    21They ^(AH)band themselves together against the life of the righteous
         And ^(AI)condemn the innocent to death.
    22But the LORD has been my ^(AJ)stronghold,
         And my God the ^(AK)rock of my refuge.
    23He has ^(AL)brought back their wickedness upon them
         And will ^(AM)destroy them in their evil;
         The LORD our God will destroy them.

Currently feeling: calmer

somehow I feel there is this responsibility placed on my shoulders from this moment on. I have to bear this responsibly and share everything that I've learnt at this point to my juniors later on. This will be my new beginning at this place =)

I need to be more assertive, slow down a bit but know what I am doing, slow down to think before I do anything, and make genuine friends =) I feel like doing my best in all these. Thank God.

1. is a decision made upon attending a 3 days event? esp. with all the emotion-blowing speakers and all that (ah how skeptical I am after all these years of attending such events)

2. what's with the year 2 and year 3 NUS-ISCF-ers. Remember kids, ISCF don't belong to alumni any more...probably less in the hands of 4th year students also. it's yours, all yours to take and manage!!! You can't depend on your seniors all the time.

Day of flower

Hae-uh-hwa

Hae-uh-hwa instrumental

Baek-Ji-Young-Bad-Person

Choi-Hye-Jin---Geu-Dae-Bo-Se-Yo

ung-kwi-ba-ram

suddenly i feel like watching the series all over again (after all never really finished it in indosiar last time =/). The Hwang jini portrayed by Ha Ji-won is certainly different from the one done by Song Hye-kyo. The first's passion for poetry and traditional Korean music really shines throughout the series. Then she got this X factor that allures men's favour upon her, unlike Song's HJN who was just plain beautiful visually and that's all. She knows what to say at the right time, though she falls in love quite quickly everytime, both to Eunho and Kim Jung-han. Interestingly, not that easy to fall out of love. She's haughty and arrogant due to her being a dance and poetry prodigy, yet she seems to use all these talents to good use. She has her weaknesses of course and yet, she's still a heroine in the audience's eyes. I must admit that Song's HJN was relatively much weaker compared to HJW's character.

Currently listening to: Baek Ji-young - Bad Person
Currently feeling: sentimental

Currently listening to: Brown Eyes - Because of You

as a chemistry graduate, do I have other opportunities for other type of work aside from working in the lab? I doubt so...and I also doubt I would want to steer aside from this career path...my comfort zone...unless...God says otherwise.

management trainee is so not me. chef, what about chef? although i have never had the chance to learn real cooking but I've got my training through lab. yup yes, i mean it. my grandmother was an exceptionally great chef you see =P let's see how...let's have some practice after i move out from here. meanwhile, I want to have a grain of seed of hope for the eye centre =) just a tiny one would be enough. after all, God has amazingly placed me here instead of in a hazardous organic chem lab.

still as lemot as usual, in reacting to things

still as fast in doing things as always...sometimes I do wonder if I'm actually the female version of Flash...

been packing...very fast.

still listening to Brown Eyes' single as below.

I've just realized, as we're growing up into adults, our taste changes.

We can no longer use things that were used during our undergrad life, or worse during our highschool days...

Then, we buy things when we really need them.

We prefer more expensive things that can be used for a longer period of time instead of cheapskate easily-spoilt stuffs.

Meanwhile, communication with people has been improving =) I'm quite happy with my job as per now.

Currently listening to: Brown Eyes - Because of you

http://www.esnips.com/doc/ee3ac7c0-f176-4ebe-9dd4-5a45c498abca/J-Walk---My-Love-(Feat.-Eun-Ji-Won).mp3

my old laptop now comes up with a 1.5L bottle of drinking water to support its monitor. Why? Because a friend, yes a very good friend (very funny, huh?) has just done something to it to make it like its current state. but let's forget this one at the moment...

I paid $20 for my ibanking security device when I lost it (MORE THAN ONE MONTH AGO) and yet I still have yet to get it in my mailbox. I feel like suing DBS by now really. Whatever lah.

And the "internet"...I still to have to bear it for the next 21 months. Interesting. I've even been called Daisy broadband nowadays.