1. the Hindi mantra to summon happiness everytime you start a new day "Azham bahut kushe!"

2. The trot song by Lee Moon Sae - I'm a Happy Person...the song is so catchy you'd want to sing it all the time when you're working.

The me that you love is a happy person,
even if I may be forgotten later
Receiving your love, I’m a happy person
even though we may part later

Sitting by the darkened window, looking outside
Thinking of you, I’m truly happy

Whom would I envy in this world?
Because I’m happy now

3. "Hey you!"

4. To call a person with an IQ of 99 "Gugu" coz 9 = Gu in Korean

5. The tell me dance

6. Soccerball

7. Turtles

8. Youngin's curly hair, which is like so similar to mine when I was in year 2...but it's different, she wears it so nicely cos she's very pretty =D and also because it is a TV drama where people just have to look good.

9-10 I will add when I finish up watching till ep 17...I will surely miss this series...so heartwarming...Seunghyo dad moments always make me laugh...except for the ending of ep 1*, I also cringed as SeungHyoDad cringed, reminded me of the Austrian monster dad...not Son Il Gun definitely...and yeah it's a very realistic scene =P so it's ok. Who's micheoseo jungmahl now? Not Seung Hyo, but Young in. The jokes in this drama are mostly purely situational such that you won't get annoyed by lameness ala Hong sisters dramas haha Yoon Kye Sang is a very good actor.

Currently feeling: happy

right now i think i'm 99 because i cannot attain score higher than 2360 on Facebook's who has the biggest brain. My specializations are only the calculation and asteroid and cards. but it's ok being 99 is cute too.

being sick makes you very lazy to do anything useful...and I'm very sorry that I already passed the virus to someone else. I'm sorry, really.

I watched this movie on youtube yesterday, subbed of course, through a user named Pizza Eating Panda. That person got lots of subbed kmovies uploaded...new ones...meanwhile I got tired of the competition at Who Has the Biggest Brain? and I'm thinking of deleting it from my facebook when I got truly tired.

Okay back to the movie, actually I'm kind of glad that this isn't a sex comedy movie. It's more like a movie from women's perspective. Some korean movies can be fully loaded with male chauvinism and it's unpretty. The movie is not outstanding, but it's something nod-able to, esp. for women. I like some of the quotes...one that Young-mi said when they're discussing about Ah-mi's blind date versus her good-for-nothing boyfriend who's kind of living off her money, "Love doesn't put bread on your table. But, perfect marriage stipulation doesn't get you happiness either. I'm just saying that it is not enough." and the other one in the monologue of Kang-ae when she discovered that she has some feeling for her best friend (which means that she could be a lesbian): "I wish there is a referee in this game. One who will give us a yellow card when we do something wrong, and one who will stop us when we have trespassed our limits. But what is this game all about anyway? When it ends, will we get happiness?" Some quotes which provoke the audience to think more on the meaning of life, on the difficulties in life, and also marriage.

Overall, I would give it 7/10 because it's not draggy unlike other kmovies I've watched, it is not lame and quite enjoyable to watch...I'm glad that one of them didn't get back with a cheating ex after some "o, o, kamu ketahuan" moment. Kdramas usually despise ex-es much more than Jdramas...which put "hatsukoi" (first love) as one of their highest priorities...maybe it's idealism vs realism? *shrugs*

Currently reading: the book of Job

from march 2007...on my type of husband.

"I would like to find a future husband who is: of the same faith, obedient to God, nice-looking, at least 178-cm tall, not too thin, not too fat, smarter than me, hard working but less kiasu than me, talkative, is not a geek, uses his time well, is not a pervert, responsible, sensible, preferably of the chinese race, at least has one same liking/hobby as me, speaks Bahasa well or speaks English well.

another important thing is that: he MUST love me and must have confidence that he really does. Whether I love him or is trying to love him comes later..."

some of my criteria have changed by now, some of them are quite relative *sigh* "is not a geek", what kind of criteria is that :S ? and "talkative"? little that I knew by this time around, I really dislike guys who don't speak carefully and just be talkative around others. I dunno where I got the idea from. and I think mutual love is important too in a marriage. That should affirm more that your love source is truly God. If I could add some points to those criteria, they would be: thinks before he speaks, has lower chance of being unfaithful because of his fear of God, is not too far different from me economically and academically (kan kalo lulusan SMA doang berat juga bs respect dia, tp gak mau juga anak konglomerat yang biasa hidup terlalu mewah).

looking back on my older posts 2006-2007, I truly have changed. eventhough they may not be much, but these changes are for the better. Thank God. I also become more serious in my approach toward life as I grow older.

bottomline: i will still keep everything for the real bridegroom if there's any...not namchin, but jinjja sabangnim.

Currently feeling: study study

I dunno whether I should be happy or sad...last exam is coming up in less than an hour. Where am I heading to after this? As if asking where am I going to go after death =P hahaha all d best me...all d best for others too who are still coping with exam(s)/anything else in their undergrad life =D

Currently feeling: deg2an

Okay, so I started the day by having a short quiet time (because I was so sleepy). Followed by going back to sleep for 15 minutes around because by that time the effect of caffeine had already kicked in. Then I went to school to have the last revision on polymer blends and nanocomposites (CM4265) with Ardi. Then Grace came along. Saying some stuffs which kept on making us speechless somehow, but ended up fine. 쪽 빨렸어. 너무. Afterwards we were suddenly crowded by so many people, started by Ria, then Pat Erlin Ian her sister they all came along. I also dunno why they ended up at YIH canteen, but that was how this last day was. At around 2.30 PM, something happened to Grace and she was forced by an invisible hand to do something else elsewhere. Couldn't say whether the thing was good or bad. But we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. So can't say that it is bad la.

At around 3.38 PM, I finished my revision and went to YIH CBLC, typed the last blog entry. Ready for my last exam. Walked to science from YIH. Met Ivy, Shiqi, Mingxian, and Kengmoh who were already waiting in front of LT25 for exam time to come. Talked about jobs, or whatever else future plans that we have. Discussed a few things about Bible interpretation since the four of us were Christians.

Started exam at 5 PM. Prof Goh didn't even bother to read the rules anymore, he said "They must have already known very well la." The questions IMHO were okay and understandable, but my friends said they were difficult. IMO, only number 4 was difficult, some polymer-polymer interaction question, with so many binary parameters which was quite confusing, really. I think I did this one better than I did for Advanced Analytical Techniques. Let's see what's the grade I'm going to get later. I'm also curious =P

After we finished exam, we walked to the busstop across the soccer field and waited for 197. I received a very long and cheerful SMS, but it took me sooo long also to reply (I kept on pressing the wrong buttons, it was quite an effort to finally come up with a decent response), because my friend Mingxian kept on asking me whether I know some Indonesian friends he met from language classes. Gosh, actually he's learning Vietnamese and knew Feni Sindarta from there. I don't know anymore how many languages he have mastered or at least have had basics on. Waited for the bus for so long, we finally arrived at Clarke Quay at around 8 PM, an hour later after the exam had been over.

After looking here and there, we decided to have dinner at Waraku. The meal could have been less exp. had we not ordered expensive side fish and so-so chicken-only Nabe at $9.80. But it was okay overall. My meal and Mingxian's got the same base soup of cream cheese. It was like drinking some nacho sauce X_X so I felt a bit dead full after having that one. Shiqi had some udon which she admitted to have the same type of noodles as maggie mie. Ivy had some tonkatsu with udon and rice. It was the same group which I had korean bbq dinner with. It was unregrettable because I guess I'm closest to this group in applied chem aside from Huifang and Kaiwi. They were my lab groupmates after all. Also the same group with whom I celebrated Valentine's day with in the year 2007. Time had surely flied very fast ever since this year of FYP.

After paying $20 per pax of dinner which left me feeling a bit broke, Shiqi and Ivy still went down to share a single scoop of Hokkaido ice cream. We all walked all the way to Cityhall from Clarke Quay and had some random chats. Talk-cock which I did not really enjoy nor like. Are we going to remember this forever? I certainly do not know. I did not remember the last day of my highschool days though, unfortunately. At least this one was written here, so it must be more "memorable". In the end, I found out that Mingxian is going to continue his master in Hokkaido, Japan. Ivy is going to take the Industrial Chemistry master in NUS and GIST, Germany. She's getting married with her present boyfriend (who also happens to be our classmate in Applied Chem) in 2010 Insya Allah. Shiqi meanwhile is still looking for a job. Me? I am just going to work in one company in Singapore as a Research Technologist.

I then took bus no 7 home, and typed this entry. Meanwhile, checking out dramabeans.com and found out about Iljimae (another drama that is similar to Hong Gil Dong and has Lee Seung Gi in it, which I actually would consider as a potentially good actor in a drama). Subs for ep 16-17 of Who Are You? have not come out yet.

This was how the day ended for me as an undergraduate student in NUS. So, are we going to start "Daisy" season 3 soon? Let's see...

Currently listening to: T.M. Revolution - Heart of Sword

kalo udah duduk terus pas belajar buat exam, terus disuruh berdiri dan jalan seharian di lab, rasanya parah banget. ini kayak di "mind your body" nya strait times tadi pagi. otot udah kaku banget dipaksa kerja keras. mendingan kalo di lab ya tiap hari di lab, kalo gak ya tiap hari do office work yang cuma duduk2 aja, physically inactive.

serasa melahirkan begitu banyak anak memang di organic lab. TI, TINA, TICA, TICAr, TICAr NO2, TICAr OCH3...and the polymers also. all my dear colorful boys and girls. if germans assign sexuality to nouns, then I too shall assign it to my compounds. everytime you synthesize something new, berasa sayang banget sama itu benda, seberapapun jeleknya. buatan tangan sendiri. kayak manusia buatan tangan Tuhan. gimanapun juga pasti Tuhan merasa sayang kalo harus membuang manusia itu in the end. when you make something or a work of art with your heart and concentration and knowledge, once it is made, you would certainly want to cherish, enjoy, and honour it. make it into something useful.

dapet a quote to ponder from "Puritan paperbacks: all things for good": "How can he expect love from God, who shows no love to God?"

how true...

Currently feeling: anxious for nothing

By now I think it is the most romantic movie I've ever watched. So sad, and yet happy for the present generation at the same time.

we too, must have a happy ending.

God himself had gone through the sad ending for us, in order that we may share the last happy ending with Him. How more grateful can we be? The Classic is one classic (can never get old) korean movie that carries a subtle but powerful message of redemption in it.

Currently feeling: grateful

“Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field ... let us see if the vine flourish.”

Song of Solomon 7:11,12 

The church was about to engage in earnest labour, and desired her Lord’s company in it. She does not say, “I will go,” but “let us go.” It is blessed working when Jesus is at our side! It is the business of God’s people to be trimmers of God’s vines. Like our first parents, we are put into the garden of the Lord for usefulness; let us therefore go forth into the field. Observe that the church, when she is in her right mind, in all her many labours desires to enjoy communion with Christ. Some imagine that they cannot serve Christ actively, and yet have fellowship with him: they are mistaken. Doubtless it is very easy to fritter away our inward life in outward exercises, and come to complain with the spouse, “They made me keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept:” but there is no reason why this should be the case except our own folly and neglect. Certain is it that a professor may do nothing, and yet grow quite as lifeless in spiritual things as those who are most busy. Mary was not praised for sitting still; but for her sitting at Jesus’ feet. Even so, Christians are not to be praised for neglecting duties under the pretence of having secret fellowship with Jesus: it is not sitting, but sitting at Jesus’ feet which is commendable. Do not think that activity is in itself an evil: it is a great blessing, and a means of grace to us. Paul called it a grace given to him to be allowed to preach; and every form of Christian service may become a personal blessing to those engaged in it. Those who have most fellowship with Christ are not recluses or hermits, who have much time to spare, but indefatigable labourers who are toiling for Jesus, and who, in their toil, have him side by side with them, so that they are workers together with God. Let us remember then, in anything we have to do for Jesus, that we can do it, and should do it in close communion with him.

Just when I desire the Lord's company in the AGM later, and in the whole NUS-ISCF ministry, I got this message...thank God =)

Day 1: Upon arrival to Aloha Changi 

hari ini dimulai dengan suatu perasaan yang tidak enak. benci banget kalo kata pat. i didn't even know how i can go through the camp. but i put everything into God's hands. udah pasrah.

jadi di bus aku mencoba untuk berbicara dengan beberapa teman dengan siapa aku tidak dekat sebelumnya. after all the laughters and the jokes with all the whatever-things-i-was-trying-to-ignore, sampailah kami di aloha changi chalet B dan D.

Kami memindahkan matress secara estafet dari lorry Mr. Goh yang konon katanya galak. Kemudian kami main icebreaking games sebentar. Gamesnya lucu2 terutama yang mindahin org di satu garis yang sempit, seru juga. Kemudian dibagi ke dalam kelompok masing-masing, dan juga waktunya check-in dan mandi. Ternyata aku satu kelompok dengan: Paulina, Ardi, Fonny, Jessica, dan Wichers. Kelompok kami dinamai "Bakpao", u know why la, right? clue: dari nama salah satu anggotanya. Meskipun cheersnya lumayan garing, maksa, dan gak pake gaya yang seru2, tapi cukup biblical juga, ada istilah "Roti Hidup"nya. at least better than the cheers of the group "Cape De", bener2 cape deh ngeliatnya.

Sesi 1 membicarakan tentang the War of the World, ada sedikit eksposisi dari Yohanes 17 tentang doa Tuhan Yesus. Diingatkan kembali tentang pentingnya menjadi sehati dan sepikir, berjuang bersama dan saling berjaga2 dengan sesama believers. Dan ketika kita tidak lagi memiliki sukacita di dalam pekerjaan kita, hidup kita, berarti ada yang salah. Seharusnya bila kita bisa memaknai hidup kita, apa yang kita kerjakan, seharusnya kita bersukacita bukan? Dengan adanya relasi yang baik dengan Tuhan seharusnya kita bisa lebih mengerti apa yang Tuhan sedang kerjakan di dalam hidup kita. Memang ada berbagai pendapat tentang visi, tapi aku pikir lebih baik menjalankan dulu apa yang bisa kita kerjakan di universitas, di tempat kerja, dan dimanapun kita berada. Menjadi serupa Kristus, disciple all the nations, contohnya. Kecuali, personal calling kita memang sangat-sangat jelas, I think it'd be a different case. Belajar tentang current worldview dan Christian worldview juga di sesi pertama.

Makan malam.

Sesi kedua membicarakan tentang Our Identity and Values, adalah sesi di mana aku MC. I guess it wasn't so bad, although I did read from my notes, due to some feeling of inferiority dan takut lupa juga. Kurang beriman? Mungkin juga. Nggak gitu dapat banyak dari sesi ini, gak tahu juga kenapa. Cuman diingatkan lagi agar semua aspek hidup bisa didasari Firman Tuhan. Ada kesempatan untuk tanya jawab juga dalam sesi ini. Banyak pertanyaan dilontarkan oleh peserta camp. Ada yang serius, ada yang nggak terlalu serius. Sesi selesai jam 10. Udah telat dari jadwal.

Hari ini diakhiri dengan group sharing. Kayaknya pikiran masih rada hang hari itu. But as a whole, yah really thank God kedua sesi dan puji2an as ibadah boleh berjalan dengan baik.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 2: Fellowship-bonding day

I slept at around 12 the night before and woke up at 6.00 am, only to sleep again until 6.15 am, realizing that the group quiet time would only start at 7.30. I "scolded" the Indians from the neighbouring chalet. There were 2 guys cursing each other out and there came another guy trying to make peace between them. So I made signal to this "peacemaker" guy to make them turn down their voices since it was so noisy and disturbing.

Had bread and sausage for breakfast. Went for the group quiet time. Still had a "mask" there for a while although my answers were honest. The quiet time was on "Man's condition on the last days". Was reminded that I should keep my integrity, live a life worthy of the calling (Eph 4).

Session 3 was on spiritual discipline. It was rejuvenating, since I think my busyness in the lab and other things had occupied a good portion of my mind lately. I really need God. I wish to desire Him more and more in life. What struck me was more on trusting God no matter what happens. Whether we got betrayed by people, hated and persecuted, even by our Christian friends. We should trust that God has something good in mind for us, even when going through matters like this.

Afterward, we had a break. I actually feel grateful for the much needed breaks after the morning session on day 2 and day 3. The camp schedule was followed by workshop. Year 4's workshop was on Making an impact in the community which I find to be quite similar to Michael Densmore's progsif last time =P I dunno but this workshop was quite useful sih for personal reflection as a reformed Christian whose past identity has been linked to excellent deacon-ical work too.

Had lunch while planning for the game in my room with Pat and Shiela. I was assigned as a gamemaster for 2 games and Pat for the other 2. My games were corny? I think the taste-testing one was corny, yeah right. The "halo-halo-halo" one was pretty fun, esp. when it was "Terang" group's turn. Their skill and strategy were excellent. After having some fun with the four groups, we headed to Pulau Ubin to play the last "picture-hunting" game. I joined my group over there. We went there by walking to the terminal and taking a motor boat from there. 

Our group managed to take a picture with a friendly westerner tourist over there and we gave him a free drink. Good start. Took pictures of our group members with same colored flowers as their shirt colors and those of edible fruits. Didn't manage to take a pic with "orang-orangan" at the herb garden (which supposedly was slightly near to the entrance, we took another route which was different from the other groups). Met "Cape De" with their bicycles on the way, took a picture with them. Kak Pet was with our group too, it's very nice to have him with us. Walked through the long way with numerous trees on the sideways with so much effort trying to spot a monitor lizard, but none of the groups were successful for this mission. Finally we met the "cookie monster" almost by the end of our journey. I threw away a starfruit inside the mouth of the cookie monster statue, cos I thought it'd be called as starfruit monster and not cookie monster. Unfortunately, I threw it in the direction toward the house...without realizing there was an old lady manning the house :s It was very funny. Apologized to the lady after taking a group picture with the cookie monster. Finally the situation was better by this time around. Took a group video with myself in it, acting as the "tiang garam", a smiling and sengek one due to imbalance. We were very tired and dehydrated after the trip to Ubin.

After taking shower, dinner, and resting for a while, there was this pretty long panel discussion on "Godly man, godly woman, and BGR". Got an interesting input from a woman's perspective (Bu Magda's, the speaker for the camp). It was interesting to note that girls value "cleanliness" while the guys somewhat value "beauty" in their list of criteria of godly man and godly woman respectively. Others were standard answers that usually can be found in Christian books in this matter. I did not really agree with the guys' perspective on how to start courtship. Why would they need to target girls from outer perspective? Surely they wouldn't know who a girl really is unless they're really her friend. I don't know, maybe extroverted girls are easier to get to know. Definitely not me. Also one reason why I'm really uncomfortable with guys who are attracted to girls physically :s I find them shallow. Most likely I will reject guys who are like this. Loh kok jadi ngomongin diri sendiri? Balik balik balik.

Bu Magda's point of view was actually quite a shock to me...and maybe also for Pat. Definitely not for the weak in hearts. We went back quickly to our room, shared from heart-to-heart. I find out that it's so important to have fellowship with people from the same-gender. Felt a relief afterward and went to bed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 3 - The "dedication" day

On the next day, it was quite a surprise. But I wouldn't write in detail about it here. By this point, I was more than ready for whatever things that can happen in my life. I submit everything into God's hands with a tougher heart.

The next session entitled "Follow the Crowd?" was very useful so that we can stand firm as God's children in our lives...in every life decision that we make. Work by faith and not work by sight. There was an exposition on Genesis 6:8 and so on on Noah's life. When we live according to God's Words, we will have experiences which are biblical. We need not worry when we're hated by other people because we are distinct and we follow God continuously.

Afterward, we had 2 workshops. For 'year 4's, they are: making an impact in church and making an impact in family. Not much impact on me...except for being eye-opening. Learnt stuffs on church, marriage, and parenting which I have never really put much thought about before. We had rest for 4 hours. I took a solitary walk by the bay to reflect and flash back on the whole 4 years of my study in NUS. I think I found the answer on why I decided to choose my current job from the other offer (the boss over there also respected me a lot and thought that I was very suitable for the job because of similarity to my FYP). I would like to move into the medical field instead of concentrating only on organic electronics. I think working in the medical field can have more impact on people's lives. Although it's not so bad researching things for environmental concerns but I guess it's not in my identity. Still have dreams to make movies with biblical values in it too.

The dedication service had a theme of being salt of the earth and light of the world. It was not emotionally consuming, it was fine. If I were to have Christian colleagues/boss in the company, I should be a salt to them too so that they can shine brightly as lights of the world. We were told to write a letter to our heavenly Father and write our commitments in the insides of the folded card. I picked the deep red colored card that signifies courage to do the right thing. Had a small group sharing with Shinta and Pat, prayed for each other. I think we really should pray for each other as a fellowship in daily life.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overall comment:

Camp kali ini very well managed. Boleh dibilang a really good closure to my undergrad study in NUS. Not very memorable but everything felt real. Bersyukur atas adanya pelayan2 yang benar2 mendedikasikan waktunya di dalam ISCF. Banyak yang suka ribut banget malam2, tapi ya sudah latihan kesabaran. Belajar banyak dan implementasinya mungkin berat, but let us work by faith not by sight.

When I look back again, applied research in chemistry is very much like a life process of a Christian. It's a journey of faith, of joy and pain. It's often not easy. But there is always a goal, a purpose, whether temporary or long term. Many times you're trying one thing, which result can lead to many other fascinating things. Life is also like that, you never know that by doing something can actually lead to something good in the future. It's the secret will of God that we can not know. The secret: just trust and obey.

for those who can come, my ceremony will be on Friday, 11 July 2008, 10 am T___T I don't think any of my good friends can come liao. all working.

Other important ceremonies:

9 July 8 PM Bachelor of AaSS - Psychology

10 July 8 PM Applied Maths and Stats

11 July 8 PM Bachelor of Sci - Life Sciences

14 July 10 AM Bachelor of Chem. Eng.

14 July 3 PM Bachelor of Arts (Architecture)

All 4 One - I Swear

been hearing it many times today *shrugs*, although I don't swear by the moon in the sky :s here it goes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf8zKB-gQl8

I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
and I swear like the shadow that's by your side

I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighing on your mind
You can be sure I know my part
Cause I stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though I make mistakes
I'll never break your heart

Chorus
And I swear by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

I'll give you every thing I can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when (and when) just the two of us are there
You won't have to ask if I still care
Cause as the time turns the page
My love won't age at all

And I swear (I swear) by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)
I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)

For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

And I swear (I swear) by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)
I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)

For better or worse (better or worse)
Till death do us part I'll love you
With every single beat of my heart
I swear I swear I swear

is a really recommended book for people who seek Him. haven't finished reading all the pages because the language is pretty difficult due to many Jonathan Edward's essays. it's worth understanding every sentence though. definitely recommended.

Currently feeling: joyful

can anyone suggest me things to do except for these ones:

1. read 3 books

2. hang around family and highschool friends (which i don't think i am still close with...err...i've changed too much from my highschool days)

3. refresh my korean (will travel there ma)

4. repractice photoshop and webdesign skills (as if I rlly knew HTML/CSS/Tables/DIV Layers when all I did was just editing the codes here and there)

5. refresh polymer chem :s ??? (last option)

selain musibah bencana alam di myanmar dan china...ada kejadian2 lain yang mengejutkan akhir2 ini:

1. temen smp yang tiba2 jadi miss indonesia 2008, emang dulu banyak yang ngejar sih, tapi cakepan dulu daripada sekarang...kalo diwawancara bilangnya mau berhati2 dalam milih baju pas miss world nanti karena anaknya preacher...not biblical...

2. temen smp/sma yang tiba2 hamil dan mba (it's like... she was this good friend's girlfriend back then)...terus sejak itu ke gereja yang sama di mana aku berada saat ini, dateng sama suaminya...

3. kejadian2 lainnya yang sedikit mengejutkan juga.

Memang "Our God is in the heavens; He does all that He pleases." Psalm 115:3

"I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2

and as said by Jeremiah when he was looking at the carnage of Jerusalem after its destruction: But when he looked to God, he could not deny the truth: Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that good and bad come? (Lamentation 3:37-38)

Psalm 21 (New American Standard Bible)

Currently feeling: grateful

the world has been rotating in a slower manner than usual for me.

sleeping lots

eating lots

have just learnt that my weight has dropped tremendously and so has my blood pressure (80/50), no wonder i kept on dropping glasswares in the lab last time.

internet using telkomnet@instan is very very slow at night

and i have not got 1 single chance to go online on Google talk

very hard to logon to tabulas as well

been reading "all things for good"

reading the Bible

and just taking life easy at the time being

with no other choice to do something else anyway...

i'm learning to be content in any situations you see.

anyway, happy birthday, Ardi! sengil chukahae! you've been a great person to know. humble, honest, good-natured, and many more...may you have a fully life in the year to come.

Currently feeling: meek and slow

Currently feeling: grieved

from http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/index.php?action=getCommentaryText&cid=4&source=1&seq=i.50.6.3

Jesus now concludes this section of his teaching by returning to the story of God's provision of manna in the wilderness (vv. 48-50; cf. vv. 32-35). He repeats his claim to be the bread of life and draws out the significance of the word life. This bread he speaks of is a food that keeps one from dying, in contrast to the manna eaten by the wilderness generation, who nevertheless died. Obviously, any food keeps one from dying for a period of time; it sustains life. Jesus, however, is talking about food that is much more powerful than regular food, for the one who eats this bread will live forever (v. 51). It is God's own life that is shared through this bread.

What sort of bread could give eternal life? Jesus' teaching comes to a head as he declares, This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world (v. 51). The Word that became flesh (1:14) now says he will give his flesh for the life of the world, so that the world may have life. Giving of life to the world (v. 33) requires that he give his flesh. This giving is in the future, so it refers to more than his teaching. It is also on behalf of (hyper) the life of the world, which suggests sacrifice (see comment on 10:11). Christ's death is indeed a sacrifice on behalf of his flock (10:11, 15), the Jewish people (11:50-51), the nations (11:52) and his disciples (17:19; cf. Beasley-Murray 1987:94).

This crowd has now received the interpretation of the sign as they had requested (6:30). Earlier the Jews had asked for a sign to legitimate Jesus' action in the temple, and he had spoken of the temple of his body and of his death and resurrection (2:18-21). Now this crowd has received teaching about the manna of his flesh and about how the divine gift of eternal life will be given through the Messiah's death. Here is a cryptic saying indeed! His reference to his flesh only heightens the scandal, as we see in the next scene.Jesus Deepens the Scandal: Eat My Flesh, Drink My Blood (6:52-59) When Jesus mentions his flesh, the tension in the crowd increases. The people are not just grumbling (v. 41); they are arguing sharply with one another (v. 52). Once again we see people who come to Jesus as a rabbi, who even wanted to make him king, but who are far from treating him as either a king or a rabbi. They are not receiving his teaching, as cryptic and offensive as it is. Like Nicodemus, they can only ask how such a thing can be (v. 52; cf. 3:9). "When questioning concerning the `how' comes in, there comes in with it unbelief" (Chrysostom In John 46.2). And Jesus does not make it easy for them. He now makes sure they get the point that real eating and drinking are involved. As he deepens the offense in these verses, he also explains in a very profound way the eternal life he is offering.

Jesus begins by revealing more sharply our need of the life he offers: I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you (v. 53). He claims that the life he is talking about is not merely some optional gift that we can afford to ignore. Apart from the life he offers, we are dead. Here is a claim as demanding as are his earlier claims about his own identity and what he offers to those who believe in him (vv. 30-51). Our utter neediness is seen clearly when set against the greatness of his offer: Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day (v. 54). Jesus is promising a new quality of life now and resurrection in the future.

He says, my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink (v. 55). What does real mean here? C. K. Barrett captures part of what Jesus is saying when he explains, "My flesh and blood really are what food and drink should be, they fulfill the ideal, archetypal function of food and drink" (1978:299). This insight is confirmed by what follows: Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him (v. 56). The eating and the drinking has to do with shared life, mutual indwelling. In the physical realm one of the most powerful examples of shared life is eating and drinking--the laying down of life by a plant or animal and the interpenetration of life as molecules are transferred, thereby nourishing life. So once again Jesus' mystifying words are referring to something that could not be understood until after his death, resurrection and ascension and the coming of the Spirit. His death will be the ultimate laying down of life; his resurrection, ascension and sending the Spirit bring onto the human scene the new possibility of actually sharing in the life of God (cf. 17:21-23) as he, the incarnate one, has shared in our life.

So, on Eucharist...

To say the Eucharist is necessary for eternal life is not necessarily as scandalous as it might seem at first. In the strictest sense of the word, very little is absolutely essential, as the thief on the cross demonstrates: all he had was faith in Jesus as the King of the Jews and a desire to be with him. Jesus here is talking about that which is generally necessary. "The sacrament is normally necessary; but it is the communion alone that is vital" (Temple 1945:95); abiding in him on the basis of his sacrificial death is what is essential. In a sense, the necessity of the Eucharist would be similar to saying one must be a member of the church. Here also we could get embroiled in controversies. But suffice it to say, the church in the New Testament is the locus of divine life, the very body of Christ. Eucharist is one of the central features of church life, and it actually effects our oneness, according to Paul (1 Cor 10:16-17). It is an occasion on the social level that feeds the spiritual life by getting in touch with the divine love of God manifest in the divine self-giving on the cross. The New Testament knows nothing of a Christianity apart from the church. The New Testament is very concrete. It points to this man Jesus and says he is the Son of God. And it points to this community and says, Here is the body of Christ, the center of divine life on earth in its fullest expression. The necessity of the Eucharist is a part of the necessity of the church. It is a part of God's dealing with us as material and relational beings.

Here, then, is some of the deepest New Testament teaching about the Eucharist. The focus of this teaching is on sacrifice and shared life. These are inseparable since there is no sharing of life without the laying down of life. The once-for-all sacrifice of Christ is the pouring out of his life for the life of the world, bringing forgiveness and a new power of life. That sacrifice also shows us the deepest reality about God--his love--and about life: all true life is sacrificial. Life is a matter of exchange: my life for yours, yours for mine. In this sacrificial web of exchange we find the communion, the community, of the Godhead. At Eucharist we receive into ourselves, into our bodies and souls, the life-giving power of God, and precisely by eating and drinking we proclaim the Lord's once-for-all death until he comes (1 Cor 11:26).

The insistence on the Eucharist, this physical activity for eternal life, is theologically and spiritually very important. It protects us from an overly cerebral or falsely spiritual form of Christianity. Salvation itself is something that encompasses all of life. It is a transformation of life and a renewal of life, including physical life. Salvation is not simply a matter of having right opinions or even right actions. Indeed, it is something larger than the human dimension, since all of creation is involved (Rom 8). John teaches us not to simply embrace spirit and oppose matter like the Gnostics did. The incarnate one in his very incarnation has shown physical matter to be "spiritual," that is, to share in divine life. Our bodies themselves are to be transformed. So the imagery involved in eating and drinking, in notions of laying down life and interpenetration, is present in this passage and in the Eucharist itself. But more than mere imagery is present--eternal life is present. The divine and human realms meet in the flesh of Jesus, and that is what a sacrament is: a material point of contact between physical and spiritual reality. Jesus' own body is the convergence of these realms, and he provides points of contact for the nourishment of his body, the church. This passage is referring to Christ's death and our life in him, as is the Eucharist. So it is fitting that the Eucharist is alluded to here, though the primary reference is to Jesus' death and the life he offers.

Obviously, this teaching is especially unclear to these people. They do not understand Jesus' identity, nor do they catch the allusion to his death, let alone the way the Lord will provide for his followers to eat his flesh and drink his blood. This cryptic, scandalous teaching took place openly in Capernaum in the synagogue (6:59), which is the place where the Torah is expounded. In the Capernaum synagogue on this particular day the eternal Word himself is giving the manna of a greater revelation.

P.S. aku tulis ini disini, karena ada sedikit bingung sebelumnya ttg arti passage ini, apa yg ingin dikomunikasikan oleh Yesus sebenarnya, dan tentang Perjamuan Kudus. Orang Katolik agaknya memakai passage ini untuk membenarkan doktrin Ekaristi mereka.

Currently feeling: glad

“And they rose up the same hour, and returned to Jerusalem ... and they told what things were done in the way, and how he was known of them.”

When the two disciples had reached Emmaus, and were refreshing themselves at the evening meal, the mysterious stranger who had so enchanted them upon the road, took bread and brake it, made himself known to them, and then vanished out of their sight. They had constrained him to abide with them, because the day was far spent; but now, although it was much later, their love was a lamp to their feet, yea, wings also; they forgot the darkness, their weariness was all gone, and forthwith they journeyed back the threescore furlongs to tell the gladsome news of a risen Lord, who had appeared to them by the way. They reached the Christians in Jerusalem, and were received by a burst of joyful news before they could tell their own tale. These early Christians were all on fire to speak of Christ’s resurrection, and to proclaim what they knew of the Lord; they made common property of their experiences. This evening let their example impress us deeply. We too must bear our witness concerning Jesus. John’s account of the sepulchre needed to be supplemented by Peter; and Mary could speak of something further still; combined, we have a full testimony from which nothing can be spared. We have each of us peculiar gifts and special manifestations; but the one object God has in view is the perfecting of the whole body of Christ. We must, therefore, bring our spiritual possessions and lay them at the apostle’s feet, and make distribution unto all of what God has given to us. Keep back no part of the precious truth, but speak what you know, and testify what you have seen. Let not the toil or darkness, or possible unbelief of your friends, weigh one moment in the scale. Up, and be marching to the place of duty, and there tell what great things God has shown to your soul.

P.S. I'm honestly slightly sad since it seems that my old friends in Surabaya don't want me with them anymore...but well, I still have the eternally faithful God's presence here with me =)

Currently feeling: hmm

Proverbs 27 (NASB)

Warnings and Instructions

    1^(A)Do not boast about tomorrow,
         For you ^(B)do not know what a day may bring forth.
    2Let ^(C)another praise you, and not your own mouth;
         A stranger, and not your own lips.
    3A stone is heavy and the sand weighty,
         But the provocation of a fool is heavier than both of them.
    4Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood,
         But ^(D)who can stand before jealousy?
    5Better is ^(E)open rebuke
         Than love that is concealed.
    6Faithful are the ^(F)wounds of a friend,
         But deceitful are the ^(G)kisses of an enemy.
    7A sated man loathes honey,
         But to a famished man any bitter thing is sweet.
    8Like a ^(H)bird that wanders from her nest,
         So is a man who ^(I)wanders from his home.
    9^(J)Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
         So a man's counsel is sweet to his friend.
    10Do not forsake your own ^(K)friend or ^(L)your father's friend,
         And do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity;
         Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.
    11^(M)Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad,
         That I may ^(N)reply to him who reproaches me.
    12A prudent man sees evil and hides himself,
         The naive proceed and pay the penalty.
    13^(O)Take his garment when he becomes surety for a stranger;
         And for an adulterous woman hold him in pledge.
    14^(P)He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning,
         It will be reckoned a curse to him.
    15A ^(Q)constant dripping on a day of steady rain
         And a contentious woman are alike;
    16He who would restrain her restrains the wind,
         And grasps oil with his right hand.
    17Iron sharpens iron,
         So one man sharpens another.
    18He who tends the ^(R)fig tree will eat its fruit,
         And he who ^(S)cares for his master will be honored.
    19As in water face reflects face,
         So the heart of man reflects man.
    20^(T)Sheol and Abaddon are ^(U)never satisfied,
         Nor are the ^(V)eyes of man ever satisfied.
    21The ^(W)crucible is for silver and the furnace for gold,
         And each ^(X)is tested by the praise accorded him.
    22Though you ^(Y)pound a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain,
         Yet his foolishness will not depart from him.
    23^(Z)Know well the condition of your flocks,
         And pay attention to your herds;
    24For riches are not forever,
         Nor does a ^(AA)crown endure to all generations.
    25When the grass disappears, the new growth is seen,
         And the herbs of the mountains are ^(AB)gathered in,
    26The lambs will be for your clothing,
         And the goats will bring the price of a field,
    27And there will be goats' milk enough for your food,
         For the food of your household,
         And sustenance for your maidens.

P.S. After I think about it again, I realize I never regret the day I called that wretched relationship off. It was the day God spoke again to me after so long.

The whole book entitled "All Things For Good" is a long and detailed exposition on Romans 8:28 "We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Chapter one. THE BEST THINGS WORK FOR GOOD TO THE GODLY

1. The attributes of God 2. The promises of God 3. The mercies of God 4. The graces of the Spirit 5. The angels of God 6. The communion of Saints 7. The intercession of Christ 8. The prayers of Saints

Chapter two. THE WORST THINGS WORK FOD GOOD TO THE GODLY

1. The evil of affliction 2. The evil of temptation 3. The evil of desertion 4. The evil of sin

Chapter three. WHY ALL THINGS WORK FOR GOOD FOR THE GODLY

Chapter four.  OF LOVE TO GOD

1. The nature of love 2. The ground of love 3. The kinds of love 4. The properties of love 5. The degrees of love. Use. a reproof to those who do not love God.

Chapter five. THE TESTS OF LOVE TO GOD

Let us test ourselves impartially whether we are in the number of those that love God. For the deciding of this, as our love will be best seen by the fruits of it, I shall lay down fourteen signs, or fruits, of love to God, and it concerns us to search carefully whether any of these fruits grow in our garden.

1. The first fruit of love is the musing of the mind upon God.

2. The next fruit of love is desire of communion.

3. Another fruit of love is grief.

4. Another fruit of love is magnanimity.

5. The fifth fruit of love is sensitiveness.

6. The sixth fruit of love is hatred against sin.

7. Another fruit of love is crucifixion.

8. The next fruit of love is fear. (A fear of displeasing God, a fear mixed with jealousy <~ I would say it's more like a fear of losing God's presence and thus God's favor)

9. If we are lovers of God , we love what God loves. (God's Word, God's day, God's laws, God's picture in His saints)

10. Another blessed sign of love is, to entertain good thoughts of God.

11. Another fruit of love is obedience. (In things difficult, in things dangerous)

12. He who loves God will endeavour to make Him appear glorious in the eyes of others.

13. Another fruit of love is to long for Christ's appearing.

14. Love will make us stoop to the meanest offices.

Chapter six. AN EXHORTATION TO LOVE GOD

Chapter seven. EFFECTUAL CALLING

Chapter eight. EXHORTATIONS TO THEM WHO ARE CALLED

Chapter nine. CONCERNING GOD'S PURPOSE

Daisy, you're smartest when it comes to social intelligence

You've got people smarts! Social intelligence refers to the ability to read other people and react appropriately. As a result, you probably have a pretty keen sense of others' motivations most of the time. It's likely that you can also spot the difference between what people say and what they really mean.

This understanding of behavior and human nature can help you go far. After all, it's been said that it's not what you know, but who you know that counts. And you have a way with people. Your social intelligence may manifest as having the gift for gab, being a top-notch networker, or an excellent listener and friend. However you put this intelligence to work, you're sure to be admired for an abundance of social know-how.

go take the test here:

http://web.tickle.com/tests/mintelligence/

I cried throughout the movie. I dunno why, I feel I could put my feet into the shoes of the kings and queens of Narnia, esp. Lucy. I missed Aslan too. Verses from the Bible were quite well delivered, although I always have doubts that the real Christ would say things as Aslan did. I was overwhelmed when the wicked were defeated in the last battle because they tried to fight against Lucy and Aslan. One thing that I learned from the movie is wisdom, and not to lean on my own understanding =) Satan was depicted well also, and it's so nice of Edmund to help his brother when tempted, because he fell there once.

Deep down inside, sometimes I still think I doubt like Lucy when my decisions were doubted by others. I should have more faith in Christ.

Psalm 30

 1I will extol thee, O LORD; for thou hast lifted me up, and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me.

 2O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.

 3O LORD, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.

 4Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

 5For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

 6And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved.

 7LORD, by thy favour thou hast made my mountain to stand strong: thou didst hide thy face, and I was troubled.

 8I cried to thee, O LORD; and unto the LORD I made supplication.

 9What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the dust praise thee? shall it declare thy truth?

 10Hear, O LORD, and have mercy upon me: LORD, be thou my helper.

 11Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;

 12To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.

Psalm 31

 1In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness.

 2Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me.

 3For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me.

 4Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength.

 5Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth.

 6I have hated them that regard lying vanities: but I trust in the LORD.

 7I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;

 8And hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: thou hast set my feet in a large room.

 9Have mercy upon me, O LORD, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.

 10For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed.

 11I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me.

 12I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.

 13For I have heard the slander of many: fear was on every side: while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life.

 14But I trusted in thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my God.

 15My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.

 16Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: save me for thy mercies' sake.

 17Let me not be ashamed, O LORD; for I have called upon thee: let the wicked be ashamed, and let them be silent in the grave.

 18Let the lying lips be put to silence; which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous.

 19Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!

 20Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.

 21Blessed be the LORD: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city.

 22For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications when I cried unto thee.

 23O love the LORD, all ye his saints: for the LORD preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer.

 24Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

Currently feeling: drowned