by right, I should be so crazy by now...but thank God I learnt to at least try to be meek in difficult situations...trapped in smelly and humid organic lab for hours everyday certainly is nasty. No doubts about that. Not to mention, how I was trapped and switched project into a very organic synthesis related one. I'd say that this could be God's plan for me...because why? The project that was previously taken by me, which I thought was given to someone else...that project is not executed for this year in all of the sudden. No wonder if I felt that God really wants me to learn more about organic synthesis, or maybe to work with this specific person. Cos I thought the scope was already much clearer in my current project, I decided to really move to Balaji (orang titik kuning)'s project. Balaji is a very patient person I'd say...a bit difficult to understand in speech given you're not an Indian and don't have any Tamil background, but his patience is all that matters in the end. Eventhough he's really pressing his student to be early and all that...actually I appreciate that, yeah u all know how I hate lousy slackers la, right...my IA supervisor was one of them. I was so sick of IA. For FYP I'd have to say that this is the first time in my life that I made a choice and I don't regret about it. All the more, I know I can learn a lot from this project, despite the challenges...About organic synthesis, conducting polymers, and some analytical techniques, which I find very useful practically, both if I work in the industries (talk about all those chemical industries employing organic and polymer chemists) and if I further my studies sometime later in my life. 

My point is that...I really love chemistry, never really regret doing this course. The more I learn, the more challenges that face me, the more love and determination I have for this subject. Applied chem has also shaped me into who I am now, a better person in interpersonal skills...thanks for all the support and care and ideas etc which Applied chem has provided me until this far. Jungmahl gomawo (Really thank you...wo zhen xie xie ni men...).

On another note, I think I really will s/u chinese 3. My reasons are: I hate the unfair competition with Malaysians...it's really heart consuming. secondly I'm interested in the subject enough not to drop it...thirdly, I'm confident that I have quite some talent and determination in it that even with s/u I don't think I'm going to fail it =P

Currently feeling: thankful

addicted to fyp-ing...solving organic chem puzzles...and labbing...what the hell has happened to me?! Oh no..........................

Btw, my friend said, organic chemist would die young...I think my experience for this one year might affect my health =P don't have a crush on me if you dont want a girlfriend/wife who dies young ya hehe...

Currently feeling: crazy

sori guys n girls, but rlly have to post this here, so that you know what to expect from me. i'm sorry if i can't be there for you when you need my help or ears to listen to your problems or whatsoever queries... if you don't already know, my life has been messy ever since orientation week for chemistry honour students. I took 3 modules + FYP. All are chemistry related. I had been forced to drop chinese 3 bcos of all these...but I'll take it next sem, hopefully along with Hartanto + Pat, they would make great study partners :D Talking about study partners, A + Y motivated me to study hard during pre-econs exam period and I managed to get "A" haha :D no la j/k but still, thank you =P So Monday-Wednesday, and Friday I got classes, they're either 4-6 or 6-8, before that (starting from 9 am) I HAVE to stay in the lab to do whatsoever things my mentor wants me to do for the day =s Then, I go home, everytime it's like always around 9 PM =( got to print my heavy-loading lecture notes, one day of the week got KTB, Friday got ISCF. If things continue to be like this, I have to drop Persekutuan Pemuda sadly...because I have to study, friends...Then my study days will be hopefully sat & sun...if I don't have any appointments on Thu, then I'd be able to study on that day and go to PP on sat...It's been hard to have quiet times nowadays...I believe I have to do it either very early in the morning, as in 6 am, or at science library (it's rlly a nice and quiet place early in the semester) somehow... 

this is what I like from tabulas...i can share my personal (not private, but personal hehe) stuffs and actually my friends who are in the circle (or even outside, who are blogspotters) can understand and talk with me...

Currently feeling: stressed

In work situation or as a subordinate, just like me, now, things are usually far from ideal. Under my mentor every weekday in the lab. It's proven that you can't escape uneasiness, you can't escape crazy long hours of labourings in the lab. After all who are you to scold your boss?! Their value is not even the same as yours. I never intend to put in more effort than needed in this FYP, but I AM FORCED to do it. I think things are like that too in the workplace...especially if you have no choice but to do OT. So, be well prepared. At least, in a job, you can quit it and find another one after sometime right? If you consider that money and position are not first class priorities then...But in a FYP you can't...first reason, it's for one year only that you're doing this among your so-many-years of lifetime. I'm not crazy. I just don't have the capacity/energy/concentration to care about you anymore, esp. if you don't firstly care about me or listen enough to my story. Sorry peeps...But yeah, I will still be there...for Graz + Shirleen + KTB...

Yesterday, I placed my right eye like 10 cm from the UV lighter in the lab (for checking TLC = Thin Layer Chromatography, it's simpler than you imagine for those who don't know), unconsciously...My right eye was blurry for the whole day, maybe even now the effect is still inside. I just hope that I'm gonna be okay.

Currently feeling: off

sebelum bertemu denganmu hidupku bahagia
semenjak bertemu denganmu ku makin bahagia
semakin lama aku semakin tahu tentang engkau
sedikit kecewa ternyata engkau tak baik

pertama-tama semua manis yg engkau berikan
membuat aku merasakan cinta sebenarnya
semakin hari semakin terungkap yg sesungguhnya
ku makin kecewa ternyata kau penuh dusta

reff:
maafkan ku harus pergi
ku tak suka dengan ini
aku tak bodoh 
seperti kekasihmu yg lain

terima kasih oh Tuhan
tunjukkan siapa dia
maaf kita putus
so thank you so much
I’m sorry, goodbye

seribu cara kau membuaiku dengan puitis 
maybe kau lupa bahwa aku pun juga manusia
yg punya mata, punya hati, dan perasaan
maaf aku pergi dan takkan untukmu lagi

repeat reff

this lyric is exactly what I want to say to someone. You know it when you're reading this post...please live happily on your own...may God bless our seperate paths.

Bought clothes with the excuse of "run-off" polo and the desperate need for a decent crisp white shirt for strictly-singapore-formal occasions.

Bought skin and eye treatment products for the excuse not to look tired (tired complexion, tired eyes) despite being an NUS honour student...again i mention the word, HONOUR, yeah :D

Bought one pair of casual shoes for lab work (despite the fact that I already have a pair of old black sneakers), and one pair of formal shoes (again for strictly-singapore-formal occasions, with the excuse: I spoilt the one pair I bought from Indo for Rp 70000, like what the..., never again will I do Charles&Keith!)

Already watched like 5 movies ever since I arrived in Sg in June.

all those in the month of August, except for the movies...I realized I've spent around Rp 1000000 (dengan nilai kurs Sg dolar yg skrg, jgn harap $1 = Rp 5000)...okay this is it...no more excuses...no more glamourous makan-makan too, hopefully...no more stupid geje (gak jelas) movies I shall watch (except for Ratatouille, I've promised to watch this together with my friends :D)

on the other side of my life, still "cemas" with fyp and my other 3 modules as usual...but it's ok, since no "cemas" at all is unhealthy for our mental and heart capacity. let's take this period as some kind of mental training. Daisy, aza!

Currently feeling: determined