Martina McBride - My Valentine

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine

You're all i need
My love, my valentine

for the fans of the song only...

Currently feeling: crazy

oh how it upsets me
when ppl ard me get attached
now it's time to accept the fate
tht i'm ** yrs old. oh wait. or isit **? cant remember

ppl ard me getting attached
and loneliness and i are getting attached
in my world of singlehood

soon they'll be proposed
and i'll have to make thousands of toasts
to congratulate them
i shall start preparing my speeches and don't condemn

it's sad, it's sad.
but u know wht
don't fret
when the world gets married
when you seem unwanted
at ard 30,40
u'll be the only available one
and the left over desperados will come chasing after ur skirt
then u can boast
tht u're not old
but still attractive

Note: It's a poem written by a friend. Sorry to my friend, but I really like your poem I hope you don't mind me posting it here...you'll stay anonymous...

Just as a small review of it, I think this poem is best suited for Dal Ja from Oh Dal Ja's Spring =P The 33-year-old attractive woman. Especially this part:

"it's sad, it's sad.
but u know wht
don't fret
when the world gets married
when you seem unwanted
at ard 30,40
u'll be the only available one
and the left over desperados will come chasing after ur skirt
then u can boast
tht u're not old
but still attractive"

See, I can still promote kdrama before my last exam...memang anak durhaka :s

Currently feeling: exam-ed

This is a post just dedicated to piyo who had helped us move things to our new home in Holland Avenue block 12... Thank you for being an assistant mover to help move those 2 beds. Thank you for not minding sitting on the back of the mini truck meski katanya banyak angin. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your help is really appreciated, piyo!

I don't take my friends for granted really hehe :D

on another note, exams are over. exams are over. exams are over. exams are over. exams are over. exams are over. exams are over.

Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God.

I have to admit that I didn't thank God enough these days...I'm such a prodigal daughter. Can someone who is thankful enough to God teach me how to?

sorry for writing another crap.

sorry for writing another crap.

sorry for writing another crap.

sorry for writing another crap.

sorry for writing another crap.

sorry for writing another crap.

sorry for writing another crap.

sorry for writing another crap.

zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz

Currently feeling: sleepy

Jess (Josh Hutcherson) is misunderstood. Despite Jess' talents as an artist, the school bullies pick on him, his father (Robert Patrick) belittles his dreams, and his four sisters invade his space in the family's cramped house. Jess' bleak world changes when Leslie (Annasophia Robb) moves into the house next door. Bright, creative and outspoken, Leslie also finds herself an outsider in their school. Soon the two are thick as thieves, spending their after school hours exploring the woods beyond their backyards and on the others side of a creek, which Leslie deems the kingdom of Terabithia. Here, they create their own magical world, complete with a Dark Master and his minions, dragonfly soldiers, giant trolls and a treehouse fortress. In Terabithia, the two friends let their imaginations run wild and control their destiny, far away from school bullies and the pressures of adolescence.

Note: can't wait to see it with my best friends =D

Currently feeling: thirsty

to God's Word (add to the title) 

This is my favourite passage in the Bible, up until now. It really works when we are down and have no hope for the future. Well, at least it works for pessimistic people like me. Thank God. I should have pasted it somewhere prominent in my room as a regular reminder.

Hebrews 12:1-11

God Disciplines His Sons

 1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

 4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
   "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
      and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
 6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
      and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

 7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Currently feeling: refreshed

next year is going to be filled with: beautiful and colorful perylene-derivatives (conjugated polymer for OLED), forgetful supervisor, daily life in the lab, difficult-to-deciphere post doc student to guide me with my research, three new hopefully-lovely housemates, and Holland Village food. Should I take Tamil I next year? (j/k) I've just realized that Indians speak English either very fast or very unclearly :| 

Just got myself a part time job all of the sudden in NUS in July...weird, but actually there is this kind of research internship here too...another opportunity to earn extra money. It's always better to spend money from self-generated cash than to rely on parents really. I hope my mom won't mind about it.

anyway, I'm so bored. What to do during May-June holidays huh? I can meet old friends, have fun with my family, go to Jakarta just to shop at Mango 2 and visit relatives, have a re-taste of Surabayan food (u can't believe how I really miss it! I think Surabayans would agree with me!), to make a blog design or two, to read perylene journals, to study organic chemistry again, to go watch Shrek 3 with Shirleen, and so on...not bad, eh =P ?

Currently feeling: sleepy

The Sweet Escape
(Gwen Stefani feat. Akon)

[Gwen]
If I could escape I would but,
First of all, let me say
I must apologize for acting stanking & treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold?

[CHORUS]
If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world
& I could be your favourite girl (forever), Perfectly together
Tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet, I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better, Tell me boy wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)

[Akon]
I want to get away, to our sweet escape
I want to get away, yeah

[Gwen]
You held me down, I'm at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out, I need to get me out of this joint
Come on let's bounce, counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around, let's look for some common ground
So baby, times get a little crazy
I've been gettin' a little lazy, waitin' on you to come save me
I can see that you're angry by the way that you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me, wanna take you with me

[CHORUS]
If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world
& I could be your favourite girl (forever), Perfectly together
& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet (sorry boy)
I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better
& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)

Woohoo, Yeehoo
Woohoo, Yeehoo (If I could escape)
Woohoo, yeehoo (If I could escape)
Woohoo, Yeehoo

Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold?

[CHORUS]
If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world
& I could be your favourite girl (forever), Perfectly together
& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet (sorry boy)
I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better
& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)

Woohoo, Yeehoo (I wanna get away, get away)
Woohoo, Yeehoo (To our sweet escape)
Woohoo, Yeehoo (I wanna get away)
Woohoo, Yeehoo (Yeah)
Woohoo, Yeehoo
Woohoo, Yeehoo

Conclusion: Gwen wrote this by herself. She is an awesome songwriter and the melody is just perfect to be sung by her

Currently feeling: why am I always sleepy?

Inspired by Graz aka Graciana DG, I've read through quite some of my posts back in 2006 and early 2007. Here are the highlights:

Puisi Soe Hok Gie

Kalau kau tak sanggup menjadi beringin yang tegak dipuncak bukit, jadilah saja belukar.
Tapi belukar terbaik yang tumbuh ditepi danau.
Kalau kau tak sanggup menjadi belukar, jadilah saja rumput.
Tapi rumput yang memperkuat tanggul pinggiran jalan.
Tidak semua jadi kapten.
Tentu harus ada awak kapalnya.
Bukan besar kecilnya tugas yang menjadikan tinggi rendahnya nilai dirimu.
Jadilah saja dirimu, sebaik-baiknya dirimu sendiri.

I felt that that was the most precious and meaningful entries in my blog ever since March 2006 =P

Throughout 2006, I complaint complaint and complaint when I was in ISCF. It was quite ridiculous when I read it now, but it was part of growing process. February 27th 2007, resmi putus setelah begitu banyak ketidakjelasan, the feeling is also 100% over. It was all also part of the growing process, as Graz said. I really thought that God wanted us to be together but He does not, at least since that February onward. Been in a hangover since then, felt that I couldn't trust God anymore, that I couldn't trust any men anymore, that love is just a big lie. March **, fell in love again...at the moment, I don't want to think so much about it =P I'll stay still and quiet la. When I really know that the guy really has a woman, or is going after somebody, I bet my feeling will stop by itself  Throughout 2007, I have done my best in my study up until now, so I'm glad now. I gained quite some really good friends in applied chem, then I become closer with my KTB and I got a new best friend called Graz hehehe  Thank God, liao. So far, studying, chemistry, and moreover friendship have been the theme of this sem. I feel that I got to live my life as an adult starting this year, is it because I'm 21? It is possible. It feels that there is no one that would always be there to depend on. This is the good thing of being single actually, you got to experience being alone with God so many times, whether you like it or not. Another good thing of being single is that you have really lots of spare time that you can spend to further your studies, to meet up and chat with friends, to further your hobbies, to care more about your family, etc.

Like the key of reading Ecclesiastes is also the key of observing life: there is always a silver lining in every cloud yayy ! I finally found the key for the treasures in life...

With this, I close the chapter of the 2006/2007. Let me look forward for summer holidays, and the upcoming chapter of academic year 2007/2008

Currently listening to: Sweet Escape - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJLaenbHKLI
Currently feeling: reflective

every so often, I compare myself with others...then I become thankful to God because I'm better than that person. Listen friends, this is not the correct way of being thankful. This is the thankful way of the narcissists I don't know why, perhaps I also have to reflect back why God is doing good things for me so that I won't just take them for granted...I feel that everytime after a trouble, God would be graceful to me to let me be on a place that I'd think is higher than my older one. If you know what I mean...I've realised lately, I would have a lot to be proud of if I become like those worldly achievers. But, unfortunately I'm not one of them!! I can't be like them, my conscience won't let me continue with that...God never wants us to be arrogant. Dear God, please let me(us) be more thankful each year despite of the increasing level of difficulties in life...and please humble me(us) more and more each year too...don't let me(us) get too proud too soon. 

note: I fell in love with the song "Mr. Beasley" by Corrine May while she fell for Mr. Beasley himself...the song somehow means something to me. Corinne May's lyrics are blessings in disguise such as her "Angel in Disguise" and I think her songs are not bad

http://www.hotlyrics.net/lyrics/C/Corrinne_May/Mr__Beasley.html

There's this part inside:

"I like to see your eyes through those goggles that you're wearing
Don't try to hide away"

The word "goggles" suddenly prompted me to guess that her husband is a chemist haha...

Currently feeling: satisfied

Hey guys n gals! Watch this, you must, since it is so cute! A cartoon theme song sung by a small kid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe3FG4EOgyU

Anyway, I love how the German kid pronounce Kroko-DIL lolz Although when Pleen sang it last time, it was funnier haha

Schnappi schnappi schnappi yak!

Currently listening to: Ich bin schnappi das kleine krokodil

I've become like him lately. It's dangerous and I know it too. Although the tendency has now been decreasing, I dunno when will it be 0% venom again...I really can never be sure. By the way, this might be 50% crap. You'll never know it cos it's Plue. After 1 am, writing like this, of course without doubt it's Plue.

Do you know, Pat? Plue is the 'black' alterego of Daisy as what we've talked about just now. Plue is the one who likes to crap, likes to make funny statements, makes fun of other people, is daring, arrogant and selfish. That is Plue. Then Daisy is the one who becomes melancholic and cries? Daisy is also scary in my opinion. Should I combine Daisy and Plue together like ***** ****** and ***** ****** in the movie I've just watched? The positive sides I mean, now that'd be cool.

Note:

Which one do you prefer between number 1 and 2?

1. To like someone one-sidedly.

2. To be liked by someone one-sidedly cos you just can't feel the same.

Lately, I dunno which one to to prefer...I think if the guy is quite cute and is almost up to my criteria, I would prefer no 2 =P But if it's not...hmm...what do u say?

Currently feeling: tired

I dunno, but surely there were a lot that I learnt during the camp. But as always, it's wiser to see how they all can be applied into my life instead of just being mere knowledges in my head.

My history record says that I fought cats during my 4 days stay. I had to take care of the packed left-over food. It's really really NASTY when every morning or afternoon you get up from your sleep or nap, then you had to be in charge of making sure the floor is cleared from the mess of scattered food eaten by the cat(s). It's really disgusting I'm telling you. Okay...beneran bergumul deh. I was never a pembantu or diperlakukan like one for whole day & night in Surabaya. Not that I'm one nona besar la. When you have to clear up mess left by human it is okay, but if it's cats? How annoying and disgusting would that be.

also learnt how to wear a male tie during workshop...interesting...that was fun haha In conclusion, somehow I also learnt the practical aspects of being a housewife, during the camp, can you see?

Did Erlinda experience the same thing last year I wonder? Did she... now that I think about this again, I think that she's a super woman in taking care of the household...Everybody have different strengths and weaknesses really...

There is a need for a mechanism to protect the left-over food from the cats. But it needs participation and consideration of all the campers. The cats over there are smart, unlike the cats in my hometown =P The Aloha cats jump up to the dining table and dig up food from leftovers already tied in plastic bags...There are 7 cats in total. I mean it as human being we need to defeat cats and put them in our control. Isn't it in the Bible? I still think when any animals start to behave as hama...men have the right to kill them until they don't behave as hama anymore. No matter how cute (I wanted to vomit blood when I typed the word 'cute' here =P) they are...whether they are dogs or cats or rabbits...

If we decide not to solve this problem, we find another place to stay for next year's ISCF camp ya =D

It's when people cannot understand our goodwill for them...and our earnest and sincere effort...I really think that too often we as humans also judge God as cruel...without knowing how good He is and how much He loves us actually...I reflected on God's hidden love through things we find uncomfortable or even hurtful during my way back to NUS.

Currently feeling: uncomfortable

Been trying to understand more about God's perspective...I hope I can understand better from day to day of my life on earth. Nowadays, people like God's love, but they often don't want to accept God's holiness and God's justice. In a way that it's becoming unfair...and probably very painful to God himself. They hate God for punishing evil people to hell, while it's what all of us actually deserved in the first place. The Jewish dislikes His decision to forgive bangsa bangsa kafir. Isn't it his right to punish a portion and forgive a portion of men whom He has chosen? 

We keep on taking God's love for granted. We keep bringing to God disgusting things that He hates...which is sin. Some Christians can even smile when talking about their sin. Somehow deep inside I feel slightly disgusted by men...often by myself as well. Sins are sins, no matter whether you are a forgiven sinner or not. We are no longer slaves of sin, why must we submit to it? If we say we are struggling against sin, then we struggle, that means avoid the sin that you know you've been doing BY ALL MEANS. STOP doing it if you say you love God.

Kak Pet said, let's say 2 friends and I hate cockroaches. Then, the imperfect analogy is like putting the 3 of us in a small room with thousands of cockroaches. So disgusting. Sin is so disgusting to God. If we love God, we must obey his commands. Obey his commands. Obey his commands. Be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect. Live out our faith. Let's struggle for all these things. Let God destroy the barriers that we have in ourselves one by one. Let Him beautify our soul...eventhough it might not be comfortable...eventhough it is often painful. Trust the Lord for He is good. In fact when others are not always trustable, He is always worthy of 100% our trust.

Btw, I love Kak Pet...His sermons are creative and eye opening...It's all by God's grace who has given him the ability to speak that well...

From Kak Pet's sermon: Kalau kita mempersembahkan hidup kita kepada Tuhan, berarti haruslah semua bagiannya sempurna sampai ke bagian2 terkecil sekalipun. Seperti di Perjanjian Lama orang Yahudi mempersembahkan hewan korban haruslah sempurna dan tidak ada cacatnya. Dari hal2 kepemilikan, merawat barang yang dititipkan Tuhan ke kita, membeli barang, profesi, posisi, teman hidup, studi, cara kita menggunakan waktu luang, dan masih banyak lg aspek hidup kita yang lain, let Christ be the master and the lord of our whole life.

Currently feeling: thankful

1. The charade game:

got J**** with his cleopatra pose acting as Job, got me acting as Saul, Paul, then acting as Eve and the strange "swimming" snake.

Got Wiwin with the ninja pose and other strange things acting for the tower of Babel.

Also got Johni acting as the drunken Noah, almost pulling off his clothes...but then he tried to pull off Freddy's clothes :s haha

2. Other games: the longest line game: A*** trying to do split; 5-sec quiz game with the question: "name a national hero", Aldo answered "tungku"

3. D**** chasing after cats and kicking lazy and spoilt cats away. D**** versus the annoying white food-stealing cat.

4. P** and S****** playing guitar and singing disturbing me from trying to sleep every night hehehe =P I love their songs though...

5. added by erlin: "Pulangkan saja, aku pada ibuku lalalalala uwoo uwoo" sung by me during talent time...sayang pas camp lupa stl "ibuku" liriknya apa...jadi gak nyampe yang uwo uwo

Can Pat and Erlin and SF (San Fransisco =P) help me name other memorable things?

Currently feeling: loved

Lyric: 

(female)

Everyone knows you as a man of honor

I am glad to know you simply as a friend

You've always taken time to be my brother

And I'll be standing by you in the end

But I will never put you on a pedestal

I thank the Lord for everything you do

I'll be there to pray for you and for the ones you love

I believe that He will finish all he started in you.

Chorus (female only):

I wil be an open door that you can count on

Anywhere you are, anywhere you've been

I will be an honest heart you can depend on

I will be a faithful friend

(Male) I am one of many whose path has been made clearer

By the light you've carried faithfully as a warrior and a child

God has used you greatly to encourage and inspire

And you've remained a true friend all the while

So I will never put you on a pedestal

Cause we both know all the glory is the Lord's

But I'll be there to pray that He will keep you by his grace

And I always will remind you to be seeking His face

Chorus(female and male) (female)

Should it ever come your time to mourn

I will weep with you

And every single time you win I'm celebrating too

(female and male) Oh, I will celebrate with you

Chorus (both)

(male) I will be faithful

(female) oooh I will be a faithful friend

comment: the melody is so-so, not unique, but read the lyrics...it's really good! biblical enough IMHO lol =P Absolutely better and more meaningful than "Tonight I Celebrate My Love" yang biasa dinyanyiin di wedding2. Courtesy of Grace...

Currently feeling: busy

kala itu mentari mulai tersenyum
tersenyum simpul
dengan sekilas semburat
berwarna merah muda
samar-samar
kadangkala makin terang
di saat lain malah memudar
romansakah itu?

Wahai hatiku,
janganlah kau bohongi aku lagi

Ditulis di kala bosan di airport menunggu Shirleen dengan inspirasi dari violin instrumental "Lovers" by Kim Sang Hun. aiyo...why do I miss some people already? My bad my bad...my bad melancholic Daisy... 

Currently feeling: blah

disclaimer: this one post here is not crap

Thank youuuuu to Arief Adhitya Angkasa and Jefry Tedjokusumo for helping me to move out of PGPR and move in to Holland Avenue Blk 12. Yayyy, your help is really greatly appreciated Thank God. I think God would smile because of people who find it easy to help others, moreover with sincerity

For some people who are still clueless, I am currently in Surabaya till end of June ya... 

about my family, father is getting more and more mysterious...seriously, he is the most mysterious and introverted man I've ever known in my life...second is that invisible guy? oh well...gotta forget that one

will my father become bankrupt one day? or will he die because of an unknown illness one day? no one would be able to figure out...only God knows... 

Currently feeling: blank

Living for God

 1Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 2As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 3For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. 5But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 6For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.

 7The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Suffering for Being a Christian

 12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And,
   "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
      what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"^[a]

 19So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Footnotes:

1. 1 Peter 4:18 Prov. 11:31

Dear believers...remember your purpose in this short life (or maybe not so short if you think like me =P)...we shall live for the will of God, not for the will of ourselves, as Jesus also lived on earth for the will of the Father. Also important, do not be ashamed when we suffer as a Christian.

I especially dedicate this post to one confused person I know...may (s)he be enlightened...

Currently feeling: calm

1. Imagine that your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend hurt you deeply before. (s)he asked for forgiveness, you gave it. Then, (s)he asked you to be his/her good friend. when you rejected because you were never a friend of him/her from the very start, (s)he forced you secara tidak sopan. imagine...how annoying...

2. Imagine that a despo guy used to chase your female friend. Then he started to chase you after a short while...because of failure this despo guy moved on to another girl. Imagine seeing a despo guy who wouldn't mind pdkt-ing to any girl and following her around in front of your eyes, imagine...how cheap...

Sorry btw, I don't mean to offend any readers...it's just a piece of reality people have to accept sometimes =P

P.S. Been watching the kdrama series "Thank You" up until ep. 5...it's nice, really...compared to "One Litre of Tears", it's a more cheerful series. With seemingly no hope for the HIV-infected child, the family can still be thankful and help others sincerely...even helping their "enemies"...keren deh emang kdrama jaman sekarang :D

Currently feeling: weird

I'm so off...my mind is so blank, I don't really know what to write in this post. My muse has gone for holidays...Why do I have to read FYP-related papers for holidays? *sigh* life in NUS is tough...yeah right. I feel so lazy and unmotivated...does anyone want to cheer me up? I've realized (only lately :p) that I need friends...everybody needs friends...

Feel like lazing around, watching ugly english-dubbed anime on animax, MTV Asia, sinetrons, listening to popular music,  jjs bareng temen or mom,  ntn bioskop,  have a taste of popular Surabaya delicacies, sleeping, ah well...

On the other hand, rencana lazing around rada2 gagal seh...there are a bunch of perylene papers to read, and there are organic chem and chinese to revise... cos I'm taking 2 modules related to each of them next semester...I'm thinking of revising organic only in July...

Surabaya is still the same as before...Pak Tong was correct, I don't know why but it hasn't change much ever since I left it in 2004. 

Masih ada hiruk pikuk music trance di tengah2 butik2 kecil nan jelek di Plaza Tunjungan. Kenapa nggak diganti aja musiknya coba? Orang juga masih ngadain small music show yang rame banget nan nggak enak didengar di tengah2 aula plaza gitu...bego banget hehehhe mengganggu kenyamanan pengunjung plaza tentunya. Funpolis, Time Zone, dan Game Fantasy (G-Fan) juga masih lengkap bagi yang suka main game di arcade seperti saya dan teman2 saya hehehe Fashion sense orang2 Surabaya juga masih sama, seperti biasa ceweknya keren2 meski kata teman saya lebih norak dari orang2 Sg which I CANNOT agree with =P Kan baju orang2 sg lebih seragam semua gt, anyone agrees? Visited Galaxy Mall also, it has become nicer dengan adanya medium-sized extension dari tmpt yang semula Toko buku Gunung Agung (TGA nya sendiri dipindahin masuk ke extension). Ada Sogo di dalemnya. Bagi yang suka, Sushi Tei juga udah buka 2 outlet, 1 di Plaza Tunjungan, 1 lg di Galaxy Mall. Sebenernya saya sendiri juga belum perna pergi sih, jadi belum bs membandingkan sama yang di sg.

Bagi yang suka ngafe, Excelso makin mewah aja...Harga kopinya makin mahal meski menunya juga nambah. Soto Pak Sadi rasanya masih sama bagi saya, meski kata orang2 surabaya yang laen udah beda. Lalu, mie 369, sioke Adam, dan bakso jagalan juga masih sama rasanya. Update lainnya, toko2 roti mulai menjamur di mana2, mulai dari BreadLife, BreadTalk, donut J-Co, sampe yang gak terkenal macam Rotiboy dan Barby's. Ntar hari ini mau ke Pasar Atum jalan2, kayaknya tuh tempat juga sudah sedikit terupdate dengan adanya extension yang isinya foodcourt sedikit berac dan butik2 kecil. 

Going Jakarta sometime in June... 

More Surabaya-related reviews coming your way...by the way I still love this place. There is no better place than home to rest and relax. 

Currently listening to: Gwen Stefani - 4 in the morning
Currently feeling: blah

there's something that is not right within me...I always try to please others...for others not for myself. Cos I'm quite a humanist person deep inside. Sometimes I do things to fulfill others' ego, including my family, and friends maybe. I often fall into the 'messiah syndrome' too. Yea,  I know though, most of the time I can't be the little superhero girl. I didn't realize that it was a mistake...until I heard from Pdt. Sutjipto Subeno this morning. I thought I was doing good...I want them to praise God thru myself by doing good. But what I thought was good for them is often not good. Too often I get trapped into thinking that spreading the Gospel to people who are in my close community...family, friends, colleagues, etc would be most effective. After the sermon on Matthew 13:53-58 today, about Jesus being rejected by the people from Nazareth, I learnt that it's not always like that. I hope God would give me more sensitivity to know His will in this matter. I hope He will give us courage and faith to do the things we would think as impossible using our own rationality.

yes, my parents aren't real believers, neither is my brother. My brother doesn't even believe in heaven and hell. I don't even know how to convince him that God exists...not that I'm stupid (haha maybe some of you would think I am), but I really don't think that the current available argument is good enough, is rational enough...I think one really has to experience God personally to know Him, to know that He exists. 

Currently feeling: indescribable

I'm bored, way too bored after reading a few chemistry journals, I need an outlet to pour out my thoughts.

If you could identify yourself with one thing in the universe, what would that be?

I thought this would be an interesting discussion, let me spice up your blogs lolz

I would identify myself with a free radical. what is a "free radical" ?

"an atom or electrically neutral molecule that has one or more unpaired electrons in its outer orbit. Free radicals are unstable and react quickly with other atoms and molecules."

www.venofer.com/VenoferHCP/Venofer_glossary.html

of all definitions, I like the one above the best

A free radical changes its form almost instantaneously. I am easily bored, thus I like changes =P

It likes to react with other atoms and molecules. Sometimes it is used to destroy weak bonds, at other times it creates numerous bonds such as in polymerization reaction. I can be critical and dislike weak arguments, I'd try to destroy those weak arguments sometimes. At other times, I'm friendly enough to be good friends of many

A free radical always tries to find a partner to react with. I like to find people to bother when I'm alone, sometimes I bother people too much =P

A free radical is almost reactive with any chemical species, except stable ones. I get along well with many different kinds of people, just not stable and boring ones heheh

A free radical looks like a small thing, but surprisingly it acts as the culprit of many reactions. Some people would think of me as demure and timid, yet I'm the "silent silent can drown you one" type =P

A free radical can be tamed by an antioxidant. I need one person who's entertaining yet stable enough to keep me entertained and stable =D

now, what about you? come on, don't let me get out from tabulas too fast...

Currently feeling: energetic

I've just taken a test from a website called Authentic Happiness. It's not that I agree with their theories about positive psychology, but the results are quite accurate for me personally. Try it here: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter.aspx

You have to register yourself first before u can take a test. Here are my top 5 strengths out of 24 positive traits =P

Currently feeling: okay

do people blog for themselves? for themselves to re-read their own blogs?

I don't. I do it for others' pleasure of reading and information.

Am I strange?

Ah well, I'm still thinking whether I shld move out from tabulas or not. You can see now, how fickle I am actually It could actually be piyo and someone else to be the reason I'm staying here heheh Besides that I'm feelin too lazy to design a new blog all over again -_-' 

Currently feeling: wondering

does being from a christian family preserve children from childhood sufferings? I believe if the parents have strong biblical values in their lives, at least they won't do very clear stupid sins that will create bitterness in their children's lives. I know it's possible if one or both parents die at a young age, then it'd be tough on the children too. But still I was wondering...

It might as well be like this. Good christian parents plant good values in their children by God's grace. Then the children will grow up well, at least not causing unnecessary sufferings for themselves perhaps? 

anyway, sufferings if faced in the right way would lead to perseverance though =P 

oh well, this was just a thought, from my observations of christian and non-christian families around me as well. 

Currently feeling: cheerful

while being sleepy like this, I'd like to jot down my experiences in Sby. May sound boring to you if you're not from this city/town, though maybe it still sound funny =P so sorry about that...

Been very happy and glad to hear and speak again all the bahasa Surabaya liao. Can you feel me? Bahasa Indo is not my native language, and then more often I've been forced to speak it to friends in Singapore who are mostly from Jakarta or Medan -_-' so sad...if not then they'd laugh at me, and I'd rather avoid that kind of sitch =P Been listening to mom's medhok Chinese also, without any difference in tones heheh.

Been nauseous during slightly long in-city-journeys by car.

Been to supermall and PTC, been to Pasar Atum for the second time! You can tell how spoilt I must have been here! So far I enjoyed my holidays, adjusted to the slow pace of people walking in Supermall or Pasar Atum, much slower compared to ppl walking in the malls in Sg. I slowed down my pace as well. Been enjoying a lot of good food...Eaten Babi Kecap "Lay", Sioke & Siobak "Adam", Juice Kopyor "Kedungsari", "K-patats" potato (they have Pat-fries, Pat-curly fries, Pat-hashbrown, Pat-float, etc as their menu names =P Pat must like this I thought hehe), Ayam Penyet "Bu Kris", Nasi kuning "Depot Wijaya", Rujak cingur and gado2 "Sungkono" at PTC (Pleen, you should try it, it's nice, mom told me it's better than Rujak "Embong Sawo" ).

Slightly strange I haven't been to Bentoya, Penang Village, XO Suki, Jade Imperial, or Duck King here. Dunno why but I haven't really wanted to eat any "medium upper class food" in Sby ever since I reside in Sg :s I still want to eat at Banana Leaf though, so nice =P~ Went to "Prime" Steaks and Ribs because of a "2 for 1" promotion using HSBC credit card. Not too nice I'd say, although it must be much cheaper than the steaks prices in Sg. Coming up next should be Soto daging "Gubeng", Gudeg "Bu Har", and Rawon "Sedap Malam". It's so strange that people have been talking about rawon "Setan" which should be worse than rawon "Sedap Malam". Should you come to Sby, remember to give it a try

EDIT: forgot to add Nasi sate "tambak bayan" & kwetiauw "Apeng"

Currently feeling: cheerful

Was just from the dentist for a checkup along with mom and bro. When we're in the waiting room, met 3 5-7 years old kids with their nurses, the oldest one was a boy, the others were 1 pretty blasteran girl and a smaller girl who is the boy's little sister. Scary, this 7 year old boy was so rude and uncontrollable, running around here and there, making loud noises at the waiting room. His mom spoils him too much to the point that he dares to shout at her. There was actually a reason for spoiling as we've heard from one of the nurses. However, that's a mistake! Now the boy dares to be rude to almost everyone, including the fierce dentist :s he surely needs a lot of disciplining at this age. Have never seen a kid this bad before.

Parents nowadays, they really need to work harder on this area, cannot just spoil and let their kids ruin the world like that liao...I wonder will I succeed as a parent next time if I really became one?

After a short chat with the dentist couple, I've just realized that career men and women nowadays choose to be single to maintain their working mobility. People then would get married and give births at their 30-40s :s Could be true. Could it be okay as well...? 

Thank God for much better than expected results ...You can ask me for details in private, I don't feel that it's wise to brag about it here. Clearly, it's not perfect 5 SAP due to the tough 2 lab modules that I took. No A- this time heheh I hope Ardi will get nice grade for econs as well It shows once again that I didn't study hard with sweat and blood for nothing.

Currently feeling: satisfied

where does God come into a relationship that we have?

where does He come into a vacation that we planned?

...our study, our working life, our ministry, our relations with the people around us, our free time, even the dramas that we watch =P ?

now, that's nearer to God-centred lives if we seriously think about and pray for all those perhaps...

dear girls

i don't know whether this would benefit you or not

but i'm glad

eventhough i might be feeling emotionally abused

by what my ex has been doing

i'm glad that i'm brave enough

to tell that we didn't go as far as p******

and i wouldn't do it with anyone else either

until i get married...if i do.

it's up to you

whether you want to trust me or not

bcos when one day

your boyfriend told you

"i don't love you anymore"

that's when you can gladly say goodbye to him

without much emotional baggage

and trauma

therefore girls

i trust you all

that you wouldn't go too far

be aware of the consequences ahead

cos guys...they don't feel guilty about this kind of thang

dear all

be holy for your Father in heaven is holy.

all of the commands that He has made for us surely have the benefits for us in the long term.

Currently feeling: loved by God

it sucks being the one who...

always turns up earliest,

always be relied upon on organizing things,

never fulfills duties last minute,

always be the one to initiate things,

always tries to make sure everything is allright. (like the cats tragedy)

Trust me it sucks and is full of dissapointments hehehe

no one can understand your perfectionist behavior...

you're often practically a doormat.

you'll learn a lot from your adversities in this matter though.

meanwhile I dunno when will the bochap type B and the slow motion type O ever catch up. Maybe the mixed type AB would catch up in the end?

By the way, my blood type is O actually =P the Japanese blood type theory is not always right...

barusan kemaren ini sakit, konyol banget. penyebabnya karena minum teh yang terlalu panas, tenggorokan sampai berdarah. next time i'll be more careful with hot food/drinks. pakai panas, pusing dan hampir nggak bisa bicara kemaren.

anyway, ntahlah tapi kayaknya gak siap jadi pktb deh. Aku tahu seandainya jadi pun, pasti pikiran selalu di fyp, nggak konsen ke pelayanan sbg pktb gt apalagi jelas2 tidak mau menelantarkan ktb atas, masakan mau ktb 2 kali seminggu seh? makan waktu lho...kecuali nggak dtg sama sekali ke pers ISCF. However, that's very extreme. I dunno why, but as a chemist who won't have much OT when working in a company. I prefer to be a PKTB after I graduate from NUS. Lebih punya banyak waktu utk mempersiapkan diri dan lebih rela serela2nya kok. Kecuali utk anak2 comp science deh...yang memang dr semua yang aku tau OT semua :s dikudain semua. I nvr know people who are working in labs got OT...

Ditanya Ci Yenty kapan mau wawancara CPKTB, mau ditelp ke Sby segala...wew serem =P

note: I thought someone I know is dying soon...just a casual acquintance...*gasp* though maybe it's just his way of saying...I certainly hope he can live until 100.

Currently feeling: sick

Ne-Yo - Because of You 

Want to but I can't help it
I love the way you feel
just kinda stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I needed when I want it
I want it when I don't
tell myself I stop every day
knowing that I won't

I got a problem and I don't know what to do about it
even If I did I don't know If I would quit but I doubt it I’m
taking by the thought of it
And I know this much is true

[chorus]
baby you have become my addiction
I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move
but I like it
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
never get enough
she’s the sweetest drugs
think of it every second
I can get nothing done
only concern is the next time I’m gon get me some
know I should stay away from
cause its no good for me
[ Because Of You lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave

I got a problem and I don't know what to do about it
even If I did I don't know If I would quit but I doubt it I’m
taking by the thought of it
And I know this much is true

[chorus]
baby you have become my addiction
I am so strung out on you
I can barely move
but I like it
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
never get enough
she is so sweet as drugs

ain't no doubt
so strung out
ain't no doubt
so strung out
over you
over you

because of you
and it's all because of you
never get enough
she is so sweet as drugs

life is like a pop art at the moment, just take it as it is...enjoy it as it is...struggle in it as it is as everything is so real and just as good as it is true *peace* 

Currently feeling: relaxed

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

Your Learning Style: Innovative and Independent

You are determined and driven. Confident in your abilities, no field is too difficult for you. You Should Study: Astronomy Biology Chemistry Design Engineering Philosophy Physics Political Science

You Are 50% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

Your Blogging Type is Kind and Harmonious

You're an approachable blogger who tends to have many online friends. People new to your blogging circle know they can count on you for support. You tend to mediate fighting and drama. You set a cooperative tone. You have a great eye for design - and your blog tends to be the best looking on the block!

Currently feeling: weird

Your Extroversion Profile:

Sociability: Very High Activity Level: High Assertiveness: High Excitement Seeking: High Friendliness: High Cheerfulness: Low

Currently feeling: lethargic

Currently feeling: sleepy