I've just realized that a thing which suddenly appears can be gone very rapidly as well...For those who are already in a relationship, things may turn sour very quickly if you just let it. Therefore beware, don't be overly happy and forget everything else for lovey-dovey couples out there!

However, for singles...don't be too pessimistic...just let God lead the way, if a marriage is really meant to be for you and a certain person then that'd happen...

sometimes life is like a drama and yet at other times, things may look a bit dull and mundane from your perspective (in terms of career, friendship, family, etc, etc as well)...let's just...live out our duties as God's children ba? And wait patiently for His time to come...

No matter how I look at it, my writings suck compared to other ppl's not funny, uninspiring, neither eye-opening nor mind-broadening...shld I quit blogging?

Currently feeling: tired

- polymer chem presentation (15%)

- 2 organic chem lab reports (12%)

- 1 final exam for lab module (60%)

- 1 petroleum test (this noon) (30%)

- 1 instrumental analysis poster & summary (baca: project) (20%)

All these in 2 weeks...4 of them all due next week. I don't want to submit late...Die die cannot get C+, Bs are also undesirable. Is it so wrong to have one's own standard of grades?

May God give me the strength to carry on...

Currently feeling: working

Colossians 1:17-18

17He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. 18And He is the Head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy.

Just now I received a pps file on Mother Teresa. There was this quote that's said to be from Mother Teresa, "We need to find God. We cannot find God in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. Look at how the nature - flowers, trees, grass- they grow in silence and the moon, sun, and stars are moving in silence. We need silence to be able to touch people's souls."

quite something, huh? I guess it's really true...Too often I don't care so much about silence, and just be guided by restlessness during my QTs...

Meanwhile, received news from my christian applied chem friend that she shared her faith to a buddhist TA yesterday...she responded quite well and was interested to go to church with my friend. What a joy. Reminding me that I should be bolder and more hardworking in sharing my faith to others too...

Currently feeling: satisfied

the girl sincerely wishes to quit school.

Currently feeling: sad

I know there is this fate of sleepless nights waiting for me in a very near time...even on Good Friday itself...I'll follow His lead to suffer in this world, eventhough cannot be compared to His whole obedient life to the Father...let me try to consider it as an honour...

and hopefully I will be resurrected after week 13 ends...

Currently feeling: distressed

doing lab report...how I wish to finish one whole report in one night! But that doesn't seem so feasible as I always procrastinate if not lose concentration in the middle of working...ah nvm...aza, me!

belakangan ini banyak berhubungan dengan orang2 yang bs berbuat apa saja untuk mendapatkan nilai baik (baca: A) dan uang. Jadi sadar kalo selama ini orang-orang yang ada di sekitarku hampir kayak gitu semua :s Sampe org Kristen di singapore aja jg terpengaruh dg kuat ke arah sini...nggak heran kalo grj2 yang menjanjikan finest things in the world, comfort, and safety jadi laku keras di sini. malahan ada temen org Daoist yang gak gitu tuh.

Jujur aja, gak ngerti banget sih sama pola-pola pikir orang ini. Kayaknya seluruh keluargaku juga kayak mereka deh sedih banget, prihatin

Jadi pengen mengusahakan singapore yang less materialistis. ah still so sad till now what to do? what can I do?

There's a friend named Victor who is sooooo kiasu. Even still have time to threaten me to get lab report for him from another friend. Does he think that I'm his servant or something?

I decided to tell him that there're other things more important than good grades in this life.

ah, so pitiful...this Victor... I've realized that he's so insecure in his life. I hope to share the Gospel to him one day...that is...if he does not suddenly avoid me as a friend...

It's so funny how I used to envy busy scholars back then when I was having my IA at Science Park 2, yeah those slacking IA days...when I watch kdrama almost everyday =P

Yet now I envy first year scholars =P (nvm they will also be like me and other 3rd yr-ers one day mwahahha) cos they can already prepare for final exams while I'm still struggling with these nvrending deadlines...I wonder if I would envy scholars after I graduate from here or not...I predict that I would =P

that's it...human beings...are very difficult to be satisfied...

The Lord is my Shepperd...I shall not want...:D

Easter is coming in 2 days...celebrating the Lord's glorious Sunday once again...

note: I've realized lately, there are really few guys who blog their REAL daily life...isn't it a bit unfair that only the ladies are doing it =P ?

every sem 2 I always die like this...last year I died, although not on Good Friday like this year, sore-eyed and 'died' physically...cos Good Friday was on reading week (translation: really a reading break from labs and reports) last year. I thought it was the worst sem of my life, remember my whining on this very same blog? when I look back, I know how stupid and selfish I was...all bcos my priorities were not set straight. it turned out this year's sem 2 is the worst up until now, it's not just about being too busy this year...there are also some pains from personal life...which I hope I'd get over with as soon as after this sem is over...let it be erased off my heart and mind...let me regain peace from God...

Do you know what's the worst thing? Cos I 'died' not for something that I believe is important...and also partly due to Korean lesson, it took me so long until I realize that I should let it go, animyon it might become another 'idol' for me, distancing me from God...but this too shall pass, another chasing after credits from my 'beloved' demanding seonsengnim (lab modules' teacher, not hangukmal's one), sacrificing my time for something stupid instead of for other things which could have been better... another chasing after the wind...which I unfortunately must get through, there's just no other way...hey, maybe this too is God's plan, to suffer while everybody else seem to be happy to be alone with God...

Anyway, tommorow I'm going for the subuh easter service in GPBB, just bcos I don't have time for the evening service in GRII. Piyo, my loyal reader and commenter, hope to meet u there hehehe Even during easter it's still like this, just couldn't get my mind off reports ='(

I hope after I graduate from this 'hell', I'd find myself struggling for a better cause, more worthy causes. Don't you hate it when you know you should do something for others' sake, but you can't since you yourself are in a big trouble? If you chose to help others, then you'd also be wrong cos you're irresponsible in your study...see the dilemma here? Anyway, I'm not a smart student cos I need a really long long time to prepare reports and to study for tests. 

Hey, maybe this one is just a 'warming-up' for something harder and more important ?

The best thing I can do now is to work harder and to stop mourning and whining, neither to write something quite long like this entry here =P

P.S. I'm going to be homeless soon, no matter how I tried my best to keep my faith that He will provide in His time...there's still slight worry in the corner of my mind. rejection after rejection, this whole sem is full of rejections! let me remember how the Lord was/is also rejected by so many people whom He sacrificed himself for And dopey's also going to be homeless if I'm homeless...let's wait for Mr. Ventura's condo ya dop?

Geurom...until tommorow then...Good Sunday...

Currently feeling: busy

This entry is only for those with still fresh memories as an NUS undergrad and for current undergrads only...For NUS grads, do u still remember how often did u have real sabbath on any 1 day of the week? Almost never, am I right? Then when you're working...at least you REALLY have a real sabbath...Then I was wondering...is it wrong if current NUS undergrads, they're christians...but they can't afford to have 1 day off studying/doing projects/assignments/reports even just in 1 week of the whole sem (let's say except week 1). Is it NUS's fault or the students' fault? Then, shld we just let it go and have not-so-perfect grades every sem? To dropout is very strange and it's unreasonable...I believe that He has a plan for each one of us who's studying here. Then, if we keep on not letting go of our school duties every Sabbath, will we get punished one day, like the Israelites, for not giving rest to their lands from getting farmed on?

Haha...this is one reason why I wished to quit NUS =P

I want to thank God for this Easter...when I'm still allowed to take a ride in Esti's family car at around 5:55 AM from my place...thanks so much to her family too...Thanks God for the Easter service and sermon at GPBB...I was really refreshed by Pak Andreas Himawan's sermon, which was from Matthew 28. Thanks God that I also realized, without the small 'deaths' which I experienced almost every year, I wouldn't be able to experience small 'revivals' as well...Some future plans have been just anyhow blocked...which left me with fewer options. Thank God for that, it seems that my calling in life is becoming clearer every year. It seems that He wants me to stay here for quite some time.

Haha anyway, thank God also for the nice breakfast of chicken porridge at GPBB and some fellowship with fellow NUS-ers over there (with Yonathan, Rissa, Sylvana, Emmy, Shinto, Alina, Johannes)...

Now, I shall study for final exam tommorow!! 아자!!

Currently feeling: rejuvenated

to sit in front of the comp for hours to read lab reports for exam, to look around for somebody to chat with (yg ada jg Jetan gt haha, Jet, are you reading this?), to be happily in love one-sidedly with an invisible person...this is it...beautiful, memorable, tough, yet naive uni days...

Day 2 is even genki-er...a friend read my MSN nick from last time and asked me abt my 'wish to quit school'...actually nowadays, there are still people who take other ppl's nicks seriously =P I'm quite surprised. If I am asked again now, no, I don't want to quit school at all. Yes, I'm tired and my eyes are sore from staring at the comp whole day until midnight. But I'm happy and content in the Lord now. I know evil will try to tempt me with some irritating stuffs during times like this usually...and I shall hang in there, cos He's there with me until the end of days...

Currently feeling: better

네가 아마 그 남자의 스타일이 아니야...아니면 그 남자 가 정말 재미없을 거야! 제가 재미없는 남자를 정말 싫어! 흥

Currently feeling: weird

그 남자 한테 정말 미안...

집을 찾았어. 기분이 너무 좋다! 하지만 report 아직 있어 지금 T____T

축어싶은 도 괝않아! 데이지 아자!

Just some more hours to go...to the finish line: independence day from the evil ruler namely CM3193/94! (warning: this is not a translation of the above's lines) I think I really shld be deleted from some ppl's tabula's friend list due to my tendency to spam their friends' blogs page. paiseh...sorry if you're reading this. If you're really disturbed by my entries, please just delete me 'k?

Been called crazy/mad...been seen as tired...been observed as smileless...thought as a stressful spamming person in tabulas =P...deemed kiasu..., perhaps? my grades are falling this sem I guess...but it's okay since I'm doing all this for God cos He has put me here to study in NUS Applied Chemistry major =) Thank God for all these things that I have to learn while in univ...

maybe dopey and daisy are not going to be homeless soon after all...thank God really...for things both seen and unseen =D nnn...still have around 30-40% of report...I am not sleeping tonight.

EDIT: Reports are officially over on 11 April 2007, 8:32 AM !!!

Currently feeling: grateful

glad that the person finally backed off...I never wanna see his face again. ah anyway...wanna pingsan already last nite I only slept for 2-3 hours...If I had to be Pak Tong who's always having like 4 hrs of sleep everyday, I think I'd die at a very young age maybe =P gotta sleep now.

EDIT: and dopey and daisy are still homeless...yeah...

Currently feeling: tired

watched Dal ja's spring until the very end last night, cos I haven't been free since week 12...Wanted to rest a bit yesterday before studying for final exams. I find it quite good as it pictured kinda real portrait of love in real life...I mean between the guy and the girl la...about career, marriage, family, and all those. Even when the main girl character was 35, the story didn't tell whether she really marries the guy or not in the end...Eventhough it's still fictional, I find Dal Ja's Spring to be the most realistic kdrama I've ever watched, yet it's still very fun to watch. It is just hard to find main characters in a drama with such strong and tough personalities like Dal Ja and Tae Bong. I find them admirable in their own personal ways. They don't fight or quarrel because of unnecessary stuffs. The drama is very highly recommended. This one and Bad Family...not all about candy-sweet romance. Very different from the dramas I'm currently watching: Hello! Miss and Witch Amusement.

Ha ha anyway this post is only for kdrama lovers...in case shin or cin visits here, wanted to make my review on this drama...or to those who want to try watching good kdramas... 

난 정말 재미있는 사람이야, 그지?

Currently feeling: 좋아

Oh my...the tiredness and sleepiness just won't go away...I need to study for exams...God, please help me...

this is the result for sleeping 3-7 hrs a night for like more than 1 week >.<

Maybe...we're not going to be homeless soon, I HOPE!! After this 4 of us should make a new group: The Clementi West Sisterhood, I hope!!

Do you feel like this sometimes: when nobody actually talks with you on your blog, then you'd feel so lazy posting on your blog?? ah ayam...I miss Prast's funny posts...how?

Currently feeling: sleepy

I choose to be friends with whom. I don't become a friend of a person who calls me an *******. On the other hand, I do not become an enemy of that person also. I also do not allow my designs to be used by that person.

EDIT: Should I be bullied forever because of my love and mercy? No, even God has limited patience you know

I'm happy enough as long as I can still live...who needs a boyfriend when she can have so many good and supportive good friends (notice that the word 'good' came twice ) ? I don't need a boyfriend! Thank you friends for being there for me when I have been so low lately. Thanks for all your doings and talkings and sharings...they all really help me to survive

These few days...were the first time in my life that I begged someone not to hurt me anymore. It's at the point that I couldn't concentrate with my life at all when the person kept hurting me like before...that's why I begged him with all my might, I even escaped...by the time if you're still reading this blog, I hope you understand what I mean and please do not comment anything.

I don't quite understand why God put me in such a position...however, I know I'll grow stronger after all this...therefore, I'd still thank God for this experience

can one feel more disgusted than this? I am so disgusted by this reality and by this sinful nature of man...toh gak peduli udah bertobat atau nggak juga masih sama aja...oh Tuhan, mau jadi apa saya dan dunia di mana saya berada??? Mau jadi apa?!?!

I'm slowly losing my identity

What if God had picked me up from the garbage can before...but then one day....I became trash again...what if that always happens from time to time? What if I just always fall? And after I fall, I tend to fall more and more easily...cos everytime I fall, it just proves how weak I am and I surrender to that small evil fact about: how weak I still am...eventhough under His guidance...what to do?

God, what to do? I am such an unworthy and useless trash. I am so unworthy of your love...then why should I receive it? I don't understand. I can never understand. I hate myself. How come a God can love a trash like me?

EDIT: If I were God, I think I'd put every man to hell immediately...fortunately I'm not God (this smile again, fake smile... yeah u know...)

Currently feeling: frustrated

looking for a Korean guy? I've given up on Indonesian guys nowadays, Singaporeans moreover...materialistic... finding a job in Korea? I really feel like working there after I graduate...how? My Korean teacher told us to try to send our resumes (in Korean language of course) to Samsung, LG, or Hyundai :D

Just as an addition, my Singaporean friends from Korean lesson even want to go and meet Korean guys in Singapore...the hallyu wave is indeed scary huh? No, I'm not that far yet hehe

I'm the type of girl you'll regret when you lose her! hehehe so happy to find this quote from Witch Yoo Hee >D

what should I do for the upcoming holidays...it feels like a long long time ago since I had a really long holiday (ard 2 months). May to July huh? Okay, this post is going to be edited soon, I really want to motivate myself to study for something sweet afterwards...is it bad? but why not? I think this is going to be my last looong holiday before I work in Sg you see...so I have to plan carefully (read: real smile)

Currently feeling: excited

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. —John 10:27

I should not blindly follow others, I should hear his voice and follow Jesus...

"Que Sera Sera" is the title of a currently airing MBC drama starring: Eric and Jung Yoo Mi. It's basically about the life of these 4 characters:

Tae Joo (starring Eric) who is the main male character, is some sort of gigolo who looks for money from single rich women. He is also an employee of a small company at the beginning of the story. He is rude and definitely not a gentleman, although he is quite softhearted inside. His life is about to change after meeting Han Eun Soo, an innocent young girl and Cha Hye Rin, a spoilt daughter from a rich family.

Han Eun Soo (starring Jung Yoo Mi), is the main female character, loved by both Tae Joo and Cha Hye Rin's first love, Joon Hyuk. She felt in love at the first sight with Tae Joo upon seeing him at the front door of his apartment, mistaking it as where her younger sister lives. Her sister then turns out to live just a few doors away from his apartment. After a few encounters, they decided to date.

Cha Hye Rin was first seen in a planned marriage meeting, attended by her family and her supposed-to-be-future-husband's family. Her family wants her to marry this guy just because they want to take over the guy's family company. Surprisingly, she made a false confession to that family, saying that when she studied in Italy 5 years ago, she lived together with her boyfriend for 1 year because she was foolish and impulsive. Actually, Hye Rin has an ex-boyfriend, who is the adopted son of her family, named Joon Hyuk. It seems that she indeed lived together for sometime with him. However, due to her family's disapproval of their relationship, Joon Hyuk went to the US to study, leaving Hye Rin behind. After a few years Joon Hyuk came back and he doesn't want to be responsible for Hye Rin. Hye Rin thus became furious and hired Tae Joo to be her contract fiancee to make Joon Hyuk jealous. Instead of becoming jealous, Joon Hyuk fell for Eun Soo, who is now working at Hye Rin's family's department store. Meanwhile, Hye Rin herself is carelessly falling for Tae Joo. What's becoming of these 4 characters' fate?

synopsis of the episodes: http://javabeans.wordpress.com/tag/k-drama/que-sera-sera/

Can watch the fansubbed version here: http://www.veoh.com/users/lyptika

Finally found a kdrama where the characters are not perfect at all =P interesting...

We only met each other a few times. It is not certain if I'd see him ever again. Only one short and sweet encounter on that *****day and I have to wait for the continuation on Daisy season 2. what to do =P ? Daisy also never knows what's gonna happen, only God knows =P Que sera sera =D totally hooked on its OST, so cool, it's just that I don't think it's purchasable in Sg.

I think I am going to miss my lab partner...quite a Korean freak just like me...and he is more of a girlfriend than a boyfriend to me. A Dao-ist with quite a high sense of morality. Tried to introduce Jesus Christ to him before, during an MSN chat, however he said his faith is not in Him. I keep praying for him...if maybe one day, God would change his heart...My Korean tutor who is an Asian languages expert. He can speak Japanese, Chinese, Cantonese, Korean, English, and Thai fluently. Knows a little bit of German also. A very kind and helpful lab partner. A person who likes to do skits during chemistry modules' presentations, I had it with a Vietnamese girl and him once! A thin person with an appetite of a tiger. A person who is fond of asian cultures. A person who cares about his friends' well-being. I have never ever found him being kiasu, despite his identity as a Singaporean, more of a phlegmatic person I'd say. A person whom I can share to about life and love. A person who is also dreaming of working in South Korea, despite knowing how hard the pace of the career over there! Just like me! Although I think he's going to make that dream come true much faster than me, due to his expertise in languages  He is graduating this year and is looking for opportunities to do master outside Singapore...Somehow I feel a bit sad that I'm not going to see him again during my final year. Cannot share the smiles and the tears of doing FYP in NUS as fellow applied chem students. Cannot see him acting cute in front of our lab group again, when we told him to do so I'm sure Shiqi is going to miss him too since she's quite close to him.

A btw...It's Jian Mingxian whom I was talking about =) This post is dedicated to him. I wish I could testi him this way...but it seems to be kinda mushy hahaha

Currently feeling: nostalgic

All the whirlwind of deadlines...the fast heartbeat as it races with time...fast music accompanying...writing formulae on cheat cards...tutorials...past year papers...revising, maybe?

I always hate it when exam is on Monday cos that means no sabbath on Sunday... I swear I'm going to take a break after my 2nd last exam on 26th April.

"A forest overrun by thorns, a young child has lost the way. Are you beginning to lose the ray of hope? Everyday I pray for you. Road is long, there's no way back. As the last trace of this intimidating world fades away, you're left alone. Um, um, God bless you..." - Bless You, by Loveholic, OST Que Sera Sera

Currently listening to: Loveholic - Bless You

"Slow motion, hate being together on summer days. Long sigh, long yawn, a long day. Something cool in your sleepy eyes. Fresh storms, fresh billowing waves, fresh air. The salts of painful dream. I'll wash them clean from your eyes. This lemon is for you." - Lemon, by W (Where the story ends), OST Que Sera Sera

do I really like this ajussi? okay, must study again now.

Storyline: 

Na Rim is the youngest child of an affluent family. Na Rim and her family are about to go on a family trip when an employee from the family company shows up who has apparently done something wrong. He begs for forgiveness but Na Rim's father refuses. The family leaves but the employee (assistant CEO) follows in his own car, leading to a car accident where everyone in the car dies, except for Na Rim. Na Rim's surviving uncle begins to suspect that the assistant CEO of the company is responsible for the death of his family, but the only one alive to tell what happened is Na Rim, who suffers from amnesia. In order to restore her memory, the uncle hires Oh Dal Gun, an ex-gangster, to create a 'similar family' for Na Rim. If Na Rim is happy then the chances of her getting her memory back are higher.

Oh Dal Gun has a large debt and in order to repay his debt, he has established a company that provides fake families for people in need. Actors are hired to play the parts of family members for events such as weddings or funerals.

Kim Yang Ah is an orphan with 3 younger brothers and makes a living as a fisherwoman. Although cute, she has a bad temper. By chance she met Dal Gun while he was being chased by the men he owes a debt to. Even though Yang Ah helped Dal Gun escape, they eventually found him and beat him to a bloodly pulp, and end up setting Yang Ah's boat on fire. Yang Ah returns to find her boat in tatters.

Jang Hang Gu, Park Bok Nyu, and Um Ji Sook all owe debts to the man that Dal Gun use to work for. In order to pay their debts, Dal Gun's coerces them to work for him. Hang Gu is a dance instructor, Bok Nyu sells dumplings (non-hygienic ones lol) and Ji Sook sells coffee for a living. Bok Nyu and Ji Sook really dislike each other and bicker all the time. Gi Dong works for a debt collection agency. However due to his kindness, he has never been able to collect anything back. Gong Min appears to be a homeless youth that Dal Gun found on the streets, but is fact from a very rich family. Having ran away from home, he works at a salon as a shampoo boy.

Jang Hang Gu then became Na Rim's fake grandfather, Park Bok Nyu as Na Rim's fake grandmother, Um Ji Sook as Na Rim's fake mother, Jo Gi Dong as Na Rim's fake father, Gong Min as Na Rim's fake brother, and Dal Gun himself as Na Rim's fake uncle.

With the majority of the family in place, Dal Gun goes to find the person to play the part of Na Rim's sister. He decides on a girl that happens to be Yang Ah's friend, who resists Dal Gun. Yang Ah realizes who Dal Gun is and goes after him. Although not originally chosen to be the sister, since Na Rim has already met Yang Ah and has been told that she is her sister, Dal Gun has to take a long time to convince Yang Ah to play the role. It's only after Dal Gun promised to return the money for Yang Ah's boat and gives her a monthly salary.

The family is at first a bunch of oddballs who tried so hard to get along with each other under Dal Gun's dictatorship. However, knowing each other's sad histories and due to their sympathy for Na Rim, they learn to love her as their own family member and become a real family for her as well...

Comment: the only thing I dislike is Yang Ah and Dal Gun's relationship...the real age difference is 12 years which makes them really strange as a couple. Overall, the drama is really heartwarming, funny and not in a sarcastic way. It's a family drama instead of a romance one. I love the villain as well, you'll surely hate him in this drama because of his meanness. Moreover, Na Rim is such a lovely little girl that you can't help but fancy her scenes in the drama hehe Not too addictive OST, however it brings out the heartwarming atmosphere within the family.

Can be watched from Youtube or Crunchyroll.com I suppose :D if you don't like controversial dramas like Que Sera Sera, maybe this drama is suitable for you hehe

Read and see more here: http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Bad_Family

Currently feeling: studying

here is a Que Sera Sera MV with the song "Bless You" by Loveholic.

http://www.veoh.com/videos/v38660983CTSJyY

I'm a big fan of the short-haired girl by now...I think she acts pretty well. People are suspecting that the ending is going to be similar to "What Happened In Bali" haha if you're curious you can search for it on youtube. I've just watched the 7-min WHIB's ending today, really ridiculous and surprisingly it's similar to a drama script that I wrote and acted in during highschool for English's practical exam =P No, I didn't watch kdrama back then lolz

Currently feeling: full

cape...tadi mlm tidur jam 10 bangun jam 3, terus plus minus tambah 1 jam lagi...exam tadi kayaknya pas2an...my performance wasn't maximum, couldn't think fast, dunno why, I felt quite retarded at that moment. Surprisingly, others whom I asked also said similar things. Bisa dapet B+ udah untung banget. I really have no mood to study right now. I think I MUST move my stuffs to Holland on 2nd of May afternoon cos I'd be busy afterwards...3-4 May got applied chem chalet!!! yayy Then, must check out from PGP and must go for NUS-ISCF camp 7-10 May (promosi nih hehe) Bos Arip ikut?

Added at 11:16 PM:

Eun Soo: “I used to think love was something really remarkable. But I’ve found it’s nothing special. It’s so unstable.”
Ji Soo: “So what are you trying to say?”
Eun Soo: “In a word, it’s all a lie.”

SPOILER: after the guy said "I love you" to her 1 episode before, then the guy decides to marry the rich girl for money =P hehe so QSS-ish... 

no matter how I look at it...I just can't trust any man anymore...just like Eun Soo...it's interesting seeing how she used to be an idealist dreamer before in the series, and then she became like that. Everytime I see a person who sees a glass half-full, or worse, always-full =P I always think that he/she is too naive, eventhough I admire him/her a lot. That's why I can't see it his/her way...I don't think I can ever do. That is just for those lucky enough in their lives or spiritually strong ones...Do you think I'm disillusioned right now? I don't think so...my experiences have proven it...I know how my reactions always are everytime there are things that do hurt me. I will avoid them the next time, at any costs. I know it too well Sometimes I also wonder why does a 21-year-old-girl think like a pessimistic 33-year-old cant-be-bothered career woman...haha I'm weird I know I'm not joking.

Currently feeling: sleepy

nowadays I don't learn much from the people around me, however I learn from the small small things around :D there is this quite high set of stairs very near to Kent Ridge Wing, NUH. It is very encouraging for people who would like to better their health by exercising. Eventhough there are so many steps needed to finish the whole set, there is a sentence to encourage you to continue your "journey" for every steps that you have cleared. E.g. "This is the path to be leaner and fitter." "Only a few more steps to go and the benefit is for a lifetime." Things like that basically :D I think to myself that I should treat this short life on earth the same way too. Actually for every trial that we have passed, we have made a benefit for our eternity. It's all by God's grace if we managed to pass a temptation or a trial. For every trial that I have passed, may I reflect back...and of course, I also should thank God for it. Maybe this way...it would help me to see this life as a glass half-full

EDIT: A few more steps to take and I'll be there to REST. Maybe I'd be able to sleep forever if it was permitted...unfortunately no hehe

And I want to re-watch My Girl, Delightful Girl Choon Hyang, Bad Family, and Fantasy Couple during the holidays, or in July maybe =P cos I won't have good internet connection for like 2 months in Surabaya, right... gyaaaaaaa I miss all the characters in those dramas, I also miss crying a lot for the couple Choonhyang & Mongryong...the characters are: Yoorin & the most handsome kdrama character ever: Seol Gong Chan from My Girl, Mongryong from DGCH, the whole family of BF, Na Sang Shil, Kangja!!! then the Gong Siljang of FC heheh

I will change my avatar to Seol Gong Chan tommorow heheh...talking about revenge for all the nights and subuhs I spent studying and doing 20 pages weekly lab reports like nuts =P malam malam sungguh jahanam...

P.S. Sorry bos piyo, gak bs bantuin bikin brochure divisi keuangan...I think if I don't go back to Sby for a long time this time, my mom will be upset =P

Currently feeling: determined

The title says it all ^____^ Finally I can relax...yayy going Harbourfront/Vivo to deposit $50 cheque later =P cos I won a prize from filling in NUS Job Expectation Survey =D I totally wuv the avatar of the main girl of Hello, Miss! on the right =) yeap edited it myself of course, with the template courtesy of pootato.org.

Added 6:34 PM: cut my hair at Jean Yip until only shoulder-length, don't ask me why I cut it. There are many reasons even academic ones hehehe It's by the time I get rid of evil split ends also!! So that finally my hair can grow without chemicals in its ends :s Went to a clothing store called Forever 21 (I think the female readers should know), found a white t-shirt with a very similar design to NUS-ISCF's t-shirt 2 years ago! With the fish, a logo: "The Lord is My Navigator" and the verse of John 3:16 all of it on the back of the tee...almost bought it if the price wasn't as ex as $38!! With my current hair length, others would be able to read from the back of the tee =P Even ISCF's t-shirt is only $13 right? haha It's cool though knowing that even fashion designers can do their part to spread the Gospel. For those who didn't know, Forever 21 is a famous clothing/accessory brand for female teenagers-young adults from the US.

I'm turning 22 by the end of the year I wish I could be forever 21

Currently feeling: relaxed

Min Ki Seo was originally a doctor who always looked down on people and is very haughty as well until he met Lee Young Shim and her child who has aids. Min Ki Seo had a girlfriend who died because of pancreatic cancer. His girlfriend, who was also a doctor, accidentally gave a young girl, who had just have a serious accident, a blood donor from an AIDS diseased person. Thus, she accidentally caused this little 7-year-old girl to get AIDS. Before Min Ki Seo's girlfriend died, she bought a teddybear to apologize to this little girl. She was with him at that time, so that was how Min Ki Seo met Lee Young Shim and her daughter, Lee Bom. Lee Bom is such a lovable and smart kid who would make the audience love her. Lee Young Shim is a very cheerful and positive person despite the difficult life she has to face, having to take care of the fatherless Lee Bom. Through her, Min Ki Seo slowly becomes a warm, gentle person because of love.

Enough with the outdated 1 Litre of Tears...move on with "Thank You", if you like this kind of drama. Saw the first episode just now, would continue during July holidays maybe, quite interesting, the details of surgery etc. Don't watch if you're afraid of blood and internal organs like me =) and I watched already =P they showed the pancreas of the person with cancer cells on it, was really frightening until I cried haha I bet you've never seen a surgeon and his team quarreling while holding the patient's organ during a surgery...

http://www.veoh.com/users/lyptika

Valiyaveettil Suresh broke my heart

We had an appointment to meet at his office at 10.00 am to discuss about next year's FYP, but until 12 he never came I wanted to dump him as my future supervisor so bad...and go to Prof. Goh...but will he accept me?

Anyway, I'm so brokenhearted right now...my new hair's so suitable for the situation right now that it's getting rather funny in an eery way

P.S. and Suresh doesn't even send me any notice through e-mail. Honestly friends, tell me, am I that bully-able as a person?

Update: Been rejected by Prof. Goh since he is retiring in 2008, if I got rejected by Dr. Lam, maybe I'll reconsider Suresh...though only if I can meet him on Monday...if not then forget it...

Currently feeling: brokenhearted

Okay a muse suddenly brought a light into my mind and made me write all this. I'm sorry to GRIIS people, no offense...but here are the similarities and UNIFORMness of GRIIS people which I have noticed up until now:

1. Almost all of them like classical music and dislike upbeat music. No rocks, no alternatives, no dangdut/Indian music also??

2. Almost all of them dress the same way...don't you get freaked out seeing those similar WHITE/pale coloured victorian blouses/formal shirts and black skirts/pants every Sunday? I do. Note that this is my point of view on the employees...the students mostly wear t-shirts if not something formal too =P

3. Almost all of them have this PASSION to get involved in a HOT and hardcore theological discussions...and usually relatively doctrinal =P I can understand as a chemist who sometimes love to debate about delta G, delta H, activation energies of many different reactions and their pathways. Now now, you don't learn about all these at church right =P ? I hope you can have a taste too in heaven =) I'll learn mathematics and social sciences in heaven and more theology =)

4. Do you know what their favourite readings are? Aside from the BIBLE which I also love, they are theological TEXTBOOKS yeah that's it...

5. Their posts in the mailing list are mostly of the same things discussed and debated over and over again. They can discuss which one is the cursed one among Mongoloid, Caucasean, or Negroid within like 8 posts. On the other hand, they don't really care about the discussion on the "newly found" Jesus's tomb. Are they afraid of making a mistake on such a big issue? Even more scared than what would happen if people's faiths are becoming "loose"? Quite scary...you know if you're also inside like me...

6. Haven't you noticed the poor sense of humour? I am sorry if I'm the only one.

P.S. No, the writer herself is not included in these 6 points =P She still loves kdrama and kpop and HARDCORE chemistry. Aren't you glad?

Currently feeling: scared

I've just realized two things about kids lately: when other kids cry, they will also start to cry...another thing is about their straightforwardness...when they notice something that bothers them or amuses them, they'd tell it to people who are close to them...

I dunno why eventhough I'm 21, I'm becoming more and more like a kid these days...

P.S. Don't get me wrong that I hate or dislike GRIIS people, peeps...I love them a lot, that's why I was trying to stir something in their minds. I want to make them see this WORLD, to make their lives more colorful with all the colors of this world, not just grey or black or white =) Is this considered self-justification? You can judge me that if you want, I don't care, cos I don't think it is

can I see ahjusshi again?

isn't it too stupid to be in love? you risk everything just to be with that person...your career, your lifepath, your friends, your emotions, energy, money, mental, and so on so forth...it's especially even stupider for girls to be in love, since the guys would be in control of their journey together. They say people cannot control what they feel...but I think people should at least try...when I get stuck into a wall...at least I would try another path to continue my journey it isn't as if it's a dead end. geurom, annyeong ahjusshi...I wish you all the best in your life (real smile this time around) May it all be for God's glory.

If you think ahjusshi was R, he's not. He's someone wiser and I'm glad that I can say I used to like a person like him.

Currently feeling: relieved

Finally I got myself a supervisor. Guess who...

It's Suresh! Cos Dr. Lam never replied me, so I tried to approach Suresh again this morning. To my surprise, I think this person is really forgetful although he does not intend to be so. He thought I was going to meet him this Friday, while it's supposed to be last Friday. I'm bullied into coming back to Sg early July (read: 1st July) to learn more about the projects that the three research groups are doing. To you who are maybe somewhat interested in chemistry, the 3 research groups are *jjajjan*: Organic & Polymer Synthesis (with applications on: environmental pollutant extraction, electronic devices, and biopharmaceutical functions), Biomaterials (they have weird experiments such as growing bone-like material inside a cuttlefish), and Nanoscience/Nanotechnology. Of course, I want to enter the first one...I just hope that he would have a project on polymer as drugs container next sem. Otherwise, I'd choose the electronic device one.

To my suprise the second time is, guess what was the first question he asked me upon entering his room? "What's your CAP now?" I was like :s Then I answered 4.** hehe Actually I was kind of afraid that he'd only accept first class honours students, but it seems that he was quite happy already accepting second upper students...lucky me. Then what was the second question? "How were your exams?" I answered, "It was quite okay." Then third question, "Do you think your CAP is going to go up?" I was like super :s already...but I answered "yes" huhu cos I was kind of nervous. Then he lectured me about being a postgraduate student and the FINANCIAL benefit from either accepting an NGS scholarship or NUS scholarship. Which I wouldn't care about anyway since there's already this growing hatred inside my brain on the kiasu atmosphere in NUS.

I was lectured for another 25 minutes then, about the rule of the game,  I mean the rule of doing research within the group. Must work independently, must interact with others (which I would find rather hard to somehow...), must use my brain to think of potentially useful experiments to try. Actually I think Suresh has this potential to be similar to my supervisor during IA at Rhodia, Dr. Michael Liu. The type who would be minimalist at giving guidance =P I don't care though since I like the research area he's doing.

I was afraid as well that I couldn't listen to his Indian English accent properly...I think I need to practise listening to Indian english more from now on...The one thing that I appreciate from him is that he said a researcher's interest on the research topic needs to be maintained, cos it's essential. Otherwise, when the passion is not there, then it'd be meaningless. Well I agree, because that time when I was just suddenly exposed into the world of anticorrosive coating in Rhodia, I was really lazy. Simply because the interest is not there. Eventhough I was paid quite well, it is as if I took it for granted. I relied on my supervisor's ideas and recipes for polymerization all the time. That's why the research could not grow deeper, to my regret...

Anyway, I can't wait to get to learn new stuffs, new chemistry, and so on. Hopefully the polymerization technique won't be more difficult than what they have in Rhodia...

Still one exam to go on Wednesday, my fave subject for this semester, Polymer Chemistry 2...Can't you see how MUCH I love CHEMISTRY :D ?