I've just read an article that tried to convince women to be careful not to wear perfume that may seduce men...ok the main idea is like that...

what a joke? uki sine...kok lucu...hmph...

If I were to be seduced by men's perfume...shouldn't I also control myself as a woman? Then the same goes with men...

babo...foolish...

Revelation 2

To the church in Ephesus

 1"To the angel^[a] of the church in Ephesus write:
      These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands: 2I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. 4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. 5Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. 6But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

 

Footnotes:

1. Revelation 2:1 Or messenger; also in verses 8, 12 and 18

P.S. I long to deeply love Jesus again...I wonder when that will be...Thanks God for talking to me today...through His words....

I've just watched "angels with fallen wings" part 1 tonite...aya ueto is in it. it was nice...a realistic portrait of Japan (is it?)...with a good moral story overall...short and sweet

money cannot buy happiness

Currently feeling: nothing

akhir2 ini merasa agak2 terasing dari dunia believers (not ALL believers la...there're some whom I'm still close with (IRL)  )...dunno why...I've been so busy having classes all day and studying OR doing something else  in the evening...I eventually feel closer to God...strange I know, but I guess, sometimes ppl DO need to withdraw from too much social life maybe? And of course...this year and last year are different bcos someone who WAS like my twin is not around anymore...this affects my life a lot. So guys & girls...if you still would like to do lots of things in life...it's always better to think twice before commiting into a relationship...that is provided your potential woman/man is living in the same area lar Cos I know by experience that a relationship always takes your time & energy & emotional capacity (provided you're a melancholic person...phlegmatic dominants shld be ok) more than you think...lots lots more than you think. In a way, I agree with Paul on this matter...(yea in a marriage of course it'd take more time & energy...analogi misalkan module gt, 10000 MC kali hauahuahau)

Got many new close friends from applied chem...I become closer to my lab partner, Mingxian...without any choice, having 2x7 hrs a week to stay together in lab...we often converse in Korean hehe (Y) Then...oso become closer to Huifang & Kai Wi...both being sgans of course...although still on "joking joking" basis...On the other hand, also got a new perspective on Zhi Ming...I guess he's not that cocky after all...Every once in a while, I got wrong perspectives on some ppl, sometimes good, sometimes bad...ZM is smart...and maybe sometimes acts like he knows everything in class -_-'' but actually this classmate also has weaknesses...He told me personally that taking 6 CM modules makes him cannot concentrate in class...and that he doesn't understand some things in "Instrumental Analysis 2" class. At last, a person like him admits a weakness...I dunno whether he was lying or not...I thought he is not that kind of guy though...being such an outspoken & straightforward person...Then got to know a fellow believer from applied chem as well...named Ivy, she's from FCBC, a cell group friend of Mia. Lastly, I have been slightly out of touch with a lazy lab partner from last year...a Vietnamese. We were placed in the same company for IA. However, I've realized that it was never easy for us to communicate deeper than surface level due to language barrier...Hmm, maybe it's about time to get to know others more...? As in not only in the internet world...haha

Currently feeling: loved

to have a boyfriend = to be with the person you want + to help you fence off unwanted person(s)

andaikan dia ada di sini...

Currently feeling: blue

I feel that I don't have ANY close friends at all nowadays...it's not their fault, since I myself take some distance from them...being reluctant to go "kumpul2, kongkow2" dst yg sering bs aku lakukan kala IA. It's so sad that I'm losing my ability to be a social creature slowly...slowly I've been trying to survive on my own lately. I think this is somewhat wrong...but my circumstances force me to do so...then what do I do now? Can somebody give me a suggestion please?

Maybe it's just a certain time on the calendar when I'm supposed to be melancholic and cry without any reasons, huh ? ah well...ayam deh...

Currently feeling: crappy

06. To Mother
translation by: bangku (also credit: aheeyah.com)

Mother I miss you.

From the time I was young, we were poor.
Unlike other people we didn't eat out much.
If my Mom wasn't at home I would eat instant noodles alone.
But I got really tired of instant noodles.
So I yelled at Mom for better food.
And forced her to take out the emergency money
That had been hidden.
To order chinese noodles for us. I was really happy.
But Mother didn't eat for some reason.
Mother said she didn't like chinese noodles.
Mother said she didn't like chinese noodles.

Yah-ee yah-ee yah-a-a
That's how we live. We regret and tears fall.
Yah-ee yah-ee yah-a-a
That's how we live. It really hurts but we smile again.

When I was in the first year of middle school,
It was time to open our lunch boxes and eat.
We all opened our lunch boxes together to share.
Some rich kid yelled at me
because I had lousy side dishes.
I was ashamed and started to cry.
Then that jerk started teasing me.
I couldn't take it, so I punched him in the face.
Mother came to school from work.
She was called for. No, she was dragged in.
This will never happen again she begged.
With her head down to that jerk's Mom my mother begged.
My mother begged.

Yah-ee yah-ee yah-a-a
That's how we live. We regret and tears fall.
Yah-ee yah-ee yah-a-a
That's how we live. It really hurts but we smile again.

Even without Father we finally made it.
We finally opened a small restaurant.
It wasn't big, but we were happy.
Tears came from Mom's wrinkled eyes.
We used Mom's and my first name to name the restaurant.
We named the restaurant and offered our prayers.
It was late at night, but nobody left.
People kept on congratulating us.
It was midnight when everyone left.
Mother was very tired, she quickly fell into a deep sleep.
And she never woke up again.

I loved you
even though I never once told you.
I love you. Rest now
forever in the world without me.

Yah-ee yah-ee yah-a-a
That's how we live. We regret and tears fall.
Yah-ee yah-ee yah-a-a
That's how we live. It really hurts but we smile again.

Yah-ee yah-ee yah-a-a
That's how we live. We regret and tears fall.
Yah-ee yah-ee yah-a-a
That's how we live. It really hurts but we smile again.

P.S. Sedih banget ceritanya hehehe...khas kdrama

Currently feeling: crazy

Today I'm very happy...yes, indeed, on this Valentine's Day which I supposedly spend with a significant other. But, since he is so far far away...therefore today, I spent $22 bucks eating at a Korean BBQ Restaurant just 2 bus stops from PGP (so it's at Pasir Panjang) with 4 applied chem friends. I went with Mingxian, Ivy, Shi Qi, and Kengmo. Firstly MX, I, and SQ met me at PGP canteen at around 4:30. Then, from there we walked to the busstop behind PGP and took bus 10 to the restaurant. Arrived at around 4:45, the manager uncle said that they're still not open yet. They will open at 5:30. It turns out the restaurant is quite popular among Korean expats I guess. Many ppl have reserved places there on this Valentine's Day.

So we walked around there to find a place to sit and drink. Then there we found this PSA Vista building and just took a seat there, had drinks from vending machine. Then 5:30 we went back to the restaurant. Keng Mo still hadn't picked up his phone yet at that time, after he arrived at around 6 PM, he said he was aslept at the applied chem lab :s how terrible haha So we first ordered $20 of marinade chicken and $20 of marinade pork, $50 of Jajunggol (kimchi soup with some ramyun and pork meat)...The meal came up with like 10 side dishes as Shi Qi counted. Sweet pumpkin cakes, sweet potato cake (very nice), tauge, salty vegetables, salty dou fu, sour seaweed soup (tastes similar to sayur asem somehow...), deepfried lotus seed (only from this moment that I finally like lotus seed, since they're hard enuff to eat =P ), kimchi, and some others which I forgot. Everything is either salty, hot, spicy, sour, or sweet. Korean food surely has strong tastes, but we liked them all! We ate the BBQ meat covered with some servings of lettuces and leaves (a big one, I dunno what kind of veggie that was =P ) and lots of chili. But the chili somehow didn't taste hot enough to me...I think they somehow tried to match Singaporeans' taste.  Neomu massitda! It's very delicious! Everyone else should try! At the end of the meal, after free flow reorders of some side dishes and the $50 kimchi soup (soup only la)...they served us very light and nice cinnamon drink and heart-shaped watermelon slices! Haha so cute, right?

Anyway, aside from the food, I got to know my friends better. So, Ivy and Keng Mo are from FCBC (a church)...there's actually another one from applied chem, but he's currently taking SEP somewhere I think. They were talking in Chinese a few times esp. after Kengmo came...I only catched some lines...Mingxian tried hard to translate to me, either in English, Korean, or Bahasa haha SQ and KM also tried to speak Korean and failed miserably...causing MX to laugh...then I also laughed cos everybody were so funny...We also had lots of chemistry or lab related jokes during the meal =P I'm really happy to have fellow Chemistry friends...I hope I can have such gathering again in the future I'm very happy today...another time that I felt sooo carefree & relaxed in Sg, after that time I had Japanese buffet with Jetan, Johni, Haskell, Jo.

Currently feeling: satisfied

"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner He gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

Ecclesiastes 2:24-26

somehow I was reading this passage just now...and I thought it was relevant to the topic of happiness...or satisfaction...or contentment...whatever you name it =P

I don't want to marry a Singaporean...cos that way I'd be trapped in Sg forever...I won't be able to come back to Indo for good...

I want to come back to Indo...if possible...

God, what do You want me to do?

P.S. No, I wasn't proposed by a Singaporean or anything...don't worry was just thinking of things: future, marriage, and so on...

Currently feeling: scared

I guess too much watching kdramas produces this kind of thing I've been contemplating on love between guy/girl lately...Then there comes this thought into my head: how pitiful is the guy/girl who doesn't get his/her love returned until the end of the story(or you can say life if it's IRL). Why does human feel pitiful when he/she is not loved back? I guess human really longs for God's love...when a woman/man doesn't get her/his love returned by the man/woman s/he loves in the end...it'd be okay if s/he knows God...but if s/he never knows God...and who God truly is...how pitiful s/he is...

ah well...even for ppl who are already in a marriage (non-believers in this case)...love between them will never really satisfy...since only God's perfect love can quench their thirst for love... 

Currently feeling: contemplative

a teacher once said... when ppl accuse a child of stealing when the child does not, the child will tend to steal more later on in his life. Is it true?

Currently feeling: tired

I guess I have been too saturated during the midterm break...strange but it's true...I will have polymer test tommorow...but haven't finished studying until now 11:32 PM (though I only need to do review actually...). It's because I couldn't concentrate earlier...gah...I should have tortured myself to study or something...each and every applied chem student is currently suffering. Really...I can see their deepening dark circles just now during lab session...freaky. I can't wait to get outta NUS. Moreover, I still have to study econs tommorow after 6 PM cos of its test on Wed 7-9 PM...And I still have lab from 10-4 on Wed itself.

Currently feeling: crazy

[Verse 1]
Come with me
Stay the night
Just say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand
And you say you've changed
But boy you know your begging don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)

So let me go now
'Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know...

[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

Yeah yeaaahhh... It's just too little too late... Mhmmm

[Verse 2]
I was young
And in love
I gave you everything
But it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate (You know it's just too little too late)
Go find someone else
And letting you go
I'm loving myself
You got a problem
But don't come asking me for help
'Cause you know...

[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

[Bridge]
I can love with all of my heart, baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live
Ohhhh... mmm nooo
It's just too little too late
Yeaahhhh...

[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

You know it's just too little too late [2x]

[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

P.S. I'm too tired for love...I'm letting him go forever for my own good. That's it...one should be able to love oneself the same as she loves others...the song explains everything.

Philippians 4:4-9 (New International Version)

ODB's text: 

The psalmist wrote, "Be still, and know that I am God" (46:10). Paul exhorted the Philippians to "be anxious for nothing" (Phil. 4:6). And Peter instructed his readers to cast all their cares on God (1 Peter 5:7).

How can someone stop worrying and be "still"? Only through prayer and trust in the loving God (Phil. 4:6-7). Those who cast their cares on Him can set aside the noise and confusion, ambitions and strivings, and enter into the peace of God (v.7).

This doesn’t mean that those who are "still" before the Lord will escape life’s dangers and dilemmas, but it does mean they will have the ability to live with tranquility in the midst of them. Though trouble may remain, the confusion, apprehension, and despair begin to fade away. Such people show poise under pressure; they’re unshaken by life’s alarms; they radiate peace wherever they go.

If you’ve never acquainted yourself with the depths of God’s love and His call for you to live in that love, your life will be filled with anxiety and cares. You’ll often be fretful and restless—always looking for that illusive "something more."

When you learn to turn your confidence toward God and cast your cares on Him, you can be calm in the midst of life’s demands. —David H. Roper

Currently feeling: tired